Amore wrote:
A couple other comments... It never ceases to amaze me how obsessed ex-Mormon men are with polygamy. I’m not meaning you - you have a much more realistic idea of it. But I’ve noticed in some men - who could pick so many Mormon controversies - but focus on polygamy. I think it’s part of their shadow fantasy. ;) The fact is that many people practice secret polygamy - cheating. My husband’s dad had a whole other family in a different city - of which his other un-wed “wife” & family had no idea.
I like what you wrote, “We look for the functionality of thing more than the truth of it.” True! I’m sure there are many cases of functional illusions, but an obvious one is every 1st week of January- gyms are packed - the belief that daily exercise is most important... when really it’s like 20% & diet 80%. Yet, often exercise improves diet - so it works. Music and especially dance are also functional illusions - not exactly logically truthful - but they can be powerful in various ways.
In some cultures, it is common for a man to have two families. They don't call it polygamy, exactly, because as you said, they don't know about each other.
What kills me, is that many people think that men would many two women for the sex. That is like buying two ropes to hang yourself. Men do it for the identity of it. It feeds their sense of survival and accomplishments. It makes them feel like a man, twice. It's not easy or fun.
But, is the family less a family? My father's family took/takes a considerable amount of pride and pleasure in all of us. His life was fully dedicated to us. I have never felt cheated or slighted. But, I entertain myself in simpler ways. But I have noticed that many want to think that polygamy is all dirty secrets. Very often, it's a natural and sincere intention that drives it. But lies very often cost people everything.