Brides for Jesus

The anything-goes forum for insults, board drama, and interpersonal conflicts. No moderation. Rated R to NC-17.
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Shulem
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Re: Brides for Jesus

Post by Shulem »

cwald wrote:Very entertaining thread.

I wish more of the women would respond.

Me too, and so, here we sit in the Telestial Kingdom waiting for some poor sorry sister (bless her heart) to drive by and post something juicy and I don't mean Juicy Fruit Gum -- pop!

:lol:

Hey sisters! Come on -- tell us, please.

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Shulem
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Re: Brides for Jesus

Post by Shulem »

Hey cherry-baby, blow me away!

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Shulem
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Re: Brides for Jesus

Post by Shulem »

There is a Jesus for everybody! Let Jesus LOVE you. Let him make love to you. Sisters, take off your dresses -- brethren, remove you pants. Holy, holy, ____, Jesus!

RATED R

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Everybody, get down make love! Submit yourself to him.

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Dr. Shades
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Re: Brides for Jesus

Post by Dr. Shades »

So, what are we drinking this evening?
"Finally, for your rather strange idea that miracles are somehow linked to the amount of gay sexual gratification that is taking place would require that primitive Christianity was launched by gay sex, would it not?"

--Louis Midgley

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Shulem
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Re: Brides for Jesus

Post by Shulem »

Dr. Shades wrote:So, what are we drinking this evening?


Honestly, just a glass of wine earlier with a meal. That was it. Living life just like a regular person. You can't fault me for that, can you?

:wink:

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Dr. Shades
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Re: Brides for Jesus

Post by Dr. Shades »

Shulem wrote:You can't fault me for that, can you?

No, but I can fault you for posting here with alcohol still in your system. It results in posts and graphics like the above.

Remember, be alcohol-free for 24 hours prior to posting here.
"Finally, for your rather strange idea that miracles are somehow linked to the amount of gay sexual gratification that is taking place would require that primitive Christianity was launched by gay sex, would it not?"

--Louis Midgley

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Shulem
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Re: Brides for Jesus

Post by Shulem »

Dr. Shades wrote:
Shulem wrote:You can't fault me for that, can you?

No, but I can fault you for posting here with alcohol still in your system. It results in posts and graphics like the above.

Remember, be alcohol-free for 24 hours prior to posting here.


The post above and the graphics are wonderful. Shades, this is the ____ Telestial board where bad things are said and expressed. Right now it's been 24 hours since I had that wine and I'm glad that I posted the above and would gladly do it again!

____ Jesus!

So there.

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Shulem
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Re: Brides for Jesus

Post by Shulem »

Silent woman in the night, you came
Took my seed from my shaking frame
Same old fire, another flame
And the wheel rolls on
With blazing eyes you see my trembling hand
When we know the time has come
Lose my senses, lose command

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Praise him.
Take his seed.
Lift your legs and rejoice!

Amen
Last edited by Shulem on Fri Feb 21, 2020 9:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Shulem
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Re: Brides for Jesus

Post by Shulem »

Trampled Under Jesus' Foot

Baby, it ain't no sin
I'm talking 'bout love
Ooh, trouble-free transgression
Helps your oil's flow
Baby, let me pump your gas
Baby, let me do it all
Talking 'bout love, ah
Talking 'bout love, oh

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Come to Jesus!

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Shulem
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Re: Brides for Jesus

Post by Shulem »

For Your Life

You said I was the only
With my lemon in your hand
Had to pull away to save me
Maybe next time around
Ooh, heard a cry for mercy
In the pits you go no lower
The next stop's underground
When you blow it, babe
You got to blow it right
Oh baby, if you fake it, babe
Baby, fake with all your might
Do it, do it, do it
Do it when you want to

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Shulem
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Re: Brides for Jesus

Post by Shulem »

There's a lady who's sure
All that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold

Silent woman through the flames, you come
From the deep behind the sun


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How many wives does Jesus have?

How many wives does his Father have?

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Shulem
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Re: Brides for Jesus

Post by Shulem »

Meet me, Jesus, meet me
Oh meet me in the middle of the air
You can deliver me, Lord
I only wanted to have some fun

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Sisters, imagine having sex with Jesus!

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Shulem
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Re: Brides for Jesus

Post by Shulem »

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Sisters, you have been washed and anointed to become brides of Christ. If you are true and faithful, the day will come when you will be groped, fondled, and a kissed by Christ, whereas you are now only elected to get laid. The realization of this blessing depends upon your hornyness.

You have had a bikini placed upon you, which you were informed represents the garment given to Eve when she was found nude in the garden of Eden. This you were instructed to wear when you go to the beach. You were informed that it will shield the muff, and if you are sexy in your walk you'll get noticed.


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I'm ready for you, Jesus!

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Shulem
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Re: Brides for Jesus

Post by Shulem »

I know that someday Heavenly Father will provide a husband for me so I can marry in the temple for time and all eternity. The Spirit has whispered to me that if it doesn't happen in this life, Jesus himself, will claim me as one of his, and I'll be privileged to bear Heavenly Father many grandchildren.

I'm so grateful . . . .

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