Magic Mormon underwear

The anything-goes forum for insults, board drama, and interpersonal conflicts. No moderation. Rated R to NC-17.
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Shulem
Son of Perdition
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Re: Magic Mormon underwear

Post by Shulem »

Woo hoo, rated R!

Hot Mormon undies! Take it off!


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Last edited by Shulem on Sat May 25, 2019 9:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Shulem
Son of Perdition
Posts: 11547
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2011 7:48 pm

Re: Magic Mormon underwear

Post by Shulem »

Future Mormon magic underwear briefs!

Feel the power of the priesthood in these sexy briefs. You can even masturbate without feeling guilty, no questions asked!

(bishop approved)


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Pull these down and discover yourself. God loves you and so do you!

:lol:

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Shulem
Son of Perdition
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Re: Magic Mormon underwear

Post by Shulem »

Future Mormon temple endowment ceremony:

The first token of the Aaronic Priesthood: Is given by clasping the right hand over your private parts while digging your knuckle in and shouting out the new name as loud as you can! Repeat this action vigorously until the holy ghost departs in shame.

:lol:

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Pay lay ale!
Pay lay ale!
Pay lay ale!

:lol:

____ you, Mormon Jezus! And ____ your holy ghost too!

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Shulem
Son of Perdition
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Re: Magic Mormon underwear

Post by Shulem »

LDS Newsroom
Temple Garments


http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/temple-garments

Some people incorrectly refer to temple garments as magical or “magic underwear.” These words are not only inaccurate but also offensive to members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.


Too ____ bad! Your magic Mormon undies are full of ____ and Masonic markings. If this offends you, kiss my ____ ass -- you ____ Mormon cult!

Because of the personal and religious nature of the temple garment, the Church asks all media to report on the subject with respect, treating Latter-day Saint temple garments as they would religious vestments of other faiths. Ridiculing or making light of sacred clothing is highly offensive to Latter-day Saints.


____ you, Mormons. Your dirty-ass sacred undies aren't fit to serve as diapers for pooping babies or monkeys swinging in the trees. Mormon garments are Masonic undies stolen by the pimp master himself, Joe ____ Smith.

Mark of the compass!

Mark of the square!

Mark of the holy asshole!

:lol:

____ the church. I will mock the church till the day of my death. ____ the church and their evil cult doctrines.

wybmadiity
Nursery
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Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2014 1:53 am

Re: Magic Mormon underwear

Post by wybmadiity »

Shulem wrote:
cwald wrote:
Are you permanently banned down here... or can you progress over time with "good behavior?"


Shades hates my f*****g guts. I'm down here forever. But it's not so bad being down here. Hell, I have the whole place to myself to dance about like a loony tune and shout praises to the f*****g God of the bible -- reminding him of how much of a dumb s*** he is. I wonder what Heavenly Father looks like naked? Hmmm. Supposedly it is rumored that he has an extra godlike sized penis.


Are you against God??

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Shulem
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Re: Magic Mormon underwear

Post by Shulem »



THE HOUSE OF THE LORD
THE CHURCH OF Jesus Christ OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS
HOLY JOE'S 8 INCH POKER

Sisters, take your sacred undies off and prepare yourselves for the prophet Joseph Smith to lay his hands on you. Each of you will lay before the prophet and spread your legs to receive holy Joe's sacred anointing. If there are any 14 year old girls present they will please take their place on the first row. The prophet prefers younger girls.


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Shulem
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Re: Magic Mormon underwear

Post by Shulem »

Have you ever felt guilty for masturbating? Well, if you masturbate you are a bad Mormon and need to confess to the bishop right now because he wants to hear about your masturbation problem. With Christmas right around the corner it's time to pull your Mormon panties up and let the power of the Spirit charge your balls and holes.

:lol: (Yeah! They shot the prophet dead! Merry Smithmas!

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Shulem
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Re: Magic Mormon underwear

Post by Shulem »

The sacred Mormon diaper must be worn night and day. It prevents one from masturbating and having to confess that sin to the bishop during the temple recommend interview.

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Deadly Vampire Miho
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Re: Magic Mormon underwear

Post by Deadly Vampire Miho »

Shulem wrote:Have you ever felt guilty for masturbating? Well, if you masturbate you are a bad Mormon and need to confess to the bishop right now because he wants to hear about your masturbation problem. With Christmas right around the corner it's time to pull your Mormon panties up and let the power of the Spirit charge your balls and holes.

:lol: (Yeah! They shot the prophet dead! Merry Smithmas!

Image


But I don't see it as a problem...and for Siv Day I asked for Warhammer :lol:

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Shulem
Son of Perdition
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Re: Magic Mormon underwear

Post by Shulem »

Sacred Masonic Markings
on Mormon Underwear


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Mark of the square,
Mark of the compass,
Mark of the belly button!!!

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