Facsimile 2 - alterations

[Shulem]

I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP! Seriously.

The following clips are from General conference, April 1962, Of the Council of the Twelve Apostles sputtering and spitting silly things which to my knowledge was never quoted or repeated again:

Astronomers have sought knowledge through study, but prophets through faith. Astronomers have developed powerful telescopes through which they have seen much, but prophets and seers have had clearer vision at greater distances with precision instruments such as the Liahona and the Urim and Thummim, which have far exceeded the most advanced radar, radio, television, or telescopic equipment.

The Mormon prophets are able to see clearer and with greater vision and distance than modern scientists using modern equipment. Prophets have seer stones locked up in the Church offices. Should we trust them?

Hell no!

Students of the universe might be amazed to know how much Adam knew about astronomy; how much Enoch and Moses had of accumulated knowledge of this world in its beginnings, its history and of its projected end. Many would wonder at the great Abraham, living nearly forty centuries ago, who was such a world authority, not only on the earth, its movements, and its conditions, but on the universe itself, extending to the very center of it.

Yes, students would be amazed to know. So where is this amazing information published? It's found in Mormon canon and in the Egyptian Papers that until recently had been hid up from the Church but is now available online thanks to a step in the transparency direction.

The scientific world is NOT impressed with Mormon revelations on astronomy as contained in the works of Mormonism. It's silly garbage. The Church hardly stands by those things today. How embarrassing! Especially the Explanations of Facsimile No. 2 which is some of the most embarrassing pseudo-scientific garbage the Church has ever published.

His supernatural knowledge was probably supplemented by research and observation in the clear, starry nights in the plains of Mesopotamia, but he must have received the major part through the Urim and Thummim which could have been far more revealing than the most powerful telescope in the most modern observatory. In his 175 brilliant years of life he accumulated knowledge in many fields, but especially in astronomy, in which field he seems to have excelled, and was perhaps equal or superior to even the highly trained Egyptian astronomers. At the altar near Bethel, close to Jerusalem, came his greatest scientific knowledge.

Folks, I'm not making this up. Kimball basically says that Abraham was a better astronomer than today's specialists. Yeah, I'd like to see Abraham take his Urim and Thummim and cure the common flu or build a rocket ship to go to the moon. What a freaking joke! Kimball is a freak-show! Mormons are bloody freaks! A weird people, indeed.

more later

[Philo Sofee]

Folks, I'm not making this up. Kimball basically says that Abraham was a better astronomer than today's specialists. Yeah, I'd like to see Abraham take his Urim and Thummim and cure the common flu or build a rocket ship to go to the moon. What a freaking joke! Kimball is a freak-show! Mormons are bloody freaks! A weird people, indeed.

Indeed! Everything in the PofGP is blase generalities with no actual attestation of knowing what we know today. Everything Kimball said is ad hoc special pleading with no evidence of anything we know today. No speed of light speed limit, black holes, gravity waves, sunspots, Jupiter's rings or Saturn's moons, not even earth tides caused by the moon.....there is literally nothing of anything specific in the
scriptures of modern knowledge of astronomy.

[Shulem]

Mormon prophetic utterings about astronomy, the moon, sun, and stars are an utter JOKE. Joseph Smith's Pearl of Great Price is really a Pearl of Great Jokes because the teachings of astronomy therein are nothing more than garbage and drivel out of the mouth of a false prophet -- a child molester.

Kimball gave that silly address (above) in 1962 and acted like Mormon prophets and teachings on astronomy were the greatest thing since sliced bread. But lo and behold, look what a Mormon prophet said just one year prior to Kimball's outrageous address:

We will never get a man into space. This earth is man's sphere and it was never intended that he should get away from it. The moon is a superior planet to the earth and it was never intended that man should go there. You can write it down in your books that this will never happen.

There you have it! Mormon inspiration. The guys who have a direct line to Heavenly Father through the so-called Holy Ghost! Boo! Depart from me ye wicked Mormon Spirit -- Go away and never come back!



Yeah, I'm laughing at you stupid ____ Mormons who preach a silly gospel of Joseph Smith's Jesus!



Mocking Mormons is easy to do. All you have to do is quote them and the laughing begins.



"Kolob through the medium of Kae-e-vanrash, which is the grand Key, or, in other words, the governing power, which governs fifteen other fixed planets or stars, as also Floeese or the Moon, the Earth and the Sun in their annual revolutions. This planet receives its power through the medium of Kli-flos-is-es, or Hah-ko-kau-beam"



Stupid ____ Mormons!

[Shulem]

As he sat in Egypt and wrote his treatise on papyrus, in longhand, likely to present to Pharaoh and his eminent court, he wrote. "And I, Abraham, had the Urim and Thummim, which the Lord my God had given unto me, in Ur of the Chaldees

Here, Kimball tells us that Abraham went to Egypt and wrote his treatise in longhand to present to the king of Egypt! Yes, written by his own hand, SOUND familiar? Where were the apologists in 1962 to tell Kimball that the papyrus was just a copy of a copy and not really in Abraham's own handwriting?



Abraham, a vile Asiatic sheep-man, tells the king of Egypt all about astronomy? Give me a Goddamn break. Don't insult my intelligence you wormy apostle of Mormonism! No doubt Kimball had a masturbation problem.

The worlds were created, organized, and made to function by Jesus Christ our Lord, all this at the instance of and under the direction of his Father Elohim, our Heavenly Father. Abraham knew, as we know, that the works of God in all creations were infinite, purposeful, efficient, limitless.

Yeah, we can turn to Facsimile No. 2 and see Father Elohim sitting atop his throne with his big shlonk -- his huge Johnson in his hands!

Look at Father Elohim! Look at the size of that little monster! What a pig!





Heavenly Father needs to see his bishop and confess his sins!



Stupid ____ Mormons are stuck with Kimball's pickled brain rotted by Mormonism's Spooky Ghost!



Mormon God WILL be mocked. I've proven that. Now, Philo, you get back to church because you know the church is twooo.

[Shulem]

I paid my 10% to that Goddman lying church year after year. I want my money back. I was lied to and fooled by the Spooky Ghost which is nothing more than the imagination of one's own mind planted by the lying tricks of the apostles selling snake oil.

Stupid apostles of the Church! YOU liars! They sit on those velvet red chairs during conference and speak flattering words to the masses. Well, how about talking about Facsimile No. 2 and Elohim's oversized Shlonk?

I want my money back. The Church cheated me. Bastards!

Yeah, I'm ____ mad as hell. Don't give money to the Mormon Church! They are ____ liars.

[aussieguy55]

Hi Shulem
When presenting this information on DanP blog I got this response

Here's a link to what I consider to be a good explanation of this particular conundrum. If you go through the article carefully you'll come across photos that show how the figure next to #7 can be either a snake or a falcon--both were used by the Egyptians:

https://www.pearlofgreatpri...

Here's a good explanation of figure #5:

https://www.pearlofgreatpri...

Re: The other figures you mention: Joseph didn't run out of ideas. He either did not know what the interpretations were because the Lord withheld them from him. Or he knew what they were but did not disclose them because they were too sacred.

[Shulem]

Hi Shulem
When presenting this information on DanP blog I got this response

Here's a link to what I consider to be a good explanation of this particular conundrum. If you go through the article carefully you'll come across photos that show how the figure next to #7 can be either a snake or a falcon--both were used by the Egyptians:

https://www.pearlofgreatpri...

The above link doesn't work. I do believe this is the pic you refer to:



Dan P is a dope. Don't listen to him. He's a flunky school teacher with an agenda to excuse Smith's lies at any and all cost. Dan has sold his soul to the devil (lies) and dishonesty radiates from him from every direction. He's a serpent with a forked tongue -- an evil fat man.

The falcon person was not original to Facsimile No. 2. The apologetic attempt to find a parallel to get Smith off the hook fails in every way. The serpent god was what the Egyptian inscribed on the original papyrus, period. That is the image that fits the register and the iconography at hand, literally.

Do me a favor please, go to that blog with Dan P and ask them how many inches is Elohim's phallus as shown in Facsimile No. 2. Tell them to ask Elohim to stand while they use a ruler to measure his Shlonk.

Thanks.

[Shulem]

Re: The other figures you mention: Joseph didn't run out of ideas. He either did not know what the interpretations were because the Lord withheld them from him. Or he knew what they were but did not disclose them because they were too sacred.

Or he just didn't know what they were and didn't feel like making crap up as he did with the other explanations!

Too sacred? My ass! What a silly excuse. Smith was a liar and didn't know jack about Egyptology. He had a lying spirit and led his sheep astray. Mormons today are the result of his snake oil.

What's the king's name in Facsimile No. 3?

What happened to Anubis's nose? Crickets keep chirping from the apologists as they squirm like worms waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The explanations of Facsimile No. 2 are UTTER GARBAGE.

[Shulem]

Hi Shulem
When presenting this information on DanP blog I got this response

Here's a link to what I consider to be a good explanation of this particular conundrum. If you go through the article carefully you'll come across photos that show how the figure next to #7 can be either a snake or a falcon--both were used by the Egyptians

Dan P and the dirty Mormon apologists are using the parallel that the falcon headed man can be displayed to represent the divine scene expressed by the Egyptians but in doing this they admit one very important thing, whether it be a falcon head or, a snake head:

JOSEPH SMITH SAID IT WAS A DOVE SO JOSPEH SMITH WAS WRONG!

The apologists have just admitted that the image is NOT a dove. They accept the FACT that the Egyptians drew snakes and falcons but not a dove. So much for the Holy Spirit of the bible! He's not in the Hypocephalus and never was. Smith made it up! The apologists have admitted it.

But with that said, the apologists are still stuck with a phallus. What to do about the phallus? That is their problem. They can choke on it for all I care.

[Shulem]

click the link:

Radio Free Mormon: 189: Dr. Robert K. Ritner on the Book of Abraham part 2

Scroll to the 2:43 mark and listen up

Egyptologist Robert Ritner sets us straight about the so-called dove in Facsimile No. 2

IT'S A LIZARD GOD!

John Gee and the Mormon apologists are attempting to deceive their readers. They cannot be trusted to represent the Facsimiles to the public because they are covering Smith's sins and false statements by attempting to use any and all parallels to take the eye off the ball.

Hey, John Gee -- you're scum! You liar.

[Shulem]

Joseph Smith's HOLY GHOST in the form of a dove is a gross misinterpretation of what originally filled the lacuna which most certainly was a snake having an erect phallus. Now, when you think about that it raises real concerns for Mormonism wherein the Holy Ghost doesn't have a body and doesn't have a phallus to employ -- into a woman's vagina! What is the Spirit of God doing with an erection let alone showing it off before Elohim seated on his throne with his own erection?

This is a real problem for Mormonism and the doctrine of the Holy Ghost who has never had sex and doesn't have a body.

[Shulem]

I can understand how Mormons can come up with an idea of how Elohim went from a flacid state to a full erection but how do they account for the Holy Ghost? What made his phallus go erect? Is the Holy Spirit always that horny or what?

Apologists, please explain.

[Philo Sofee]

LOL! You actually have a great point about the non-bodied Holy Ghost having a boner... I would be interested in seeing the mopes discuss this......

[Shulem]

LOL! You actually have a great point about the non-bodied Holy Ghost having a boner... I would be interested in seeing the mopes discuss this......

Exactly. I'm glad you caught that post and am following the thread. This brings to mind the serious question of how a boner is achieved with a spiritual body, one that DOES NOT HAVE physical flesh and no blood to inflate and POP a boner through the passion of a stroking heart. Technically, according to Joseph Smith, the man in Facsimile No. 2, Fig. 7, is none other than JEHOVAH -- and look at him, he has a BONER. Okay, maybe it's Elohim, his Father -- if so, then he has the boner. Regardless of whether the Person is the Father or the Son -- he has a boner.

The Mormons are going to have to account for this. How does Jehovah God manage to get a boner? He's a spirit Personage as is the Holy Spirit who in the form of dove is also sporting a boner. How do these spirit guys have boners? Where is the bloody blood to produce a boner?

Perhaps, just perhaps, due to the fact that I'm a gay man, I find this dilemma to be more interesting, it sticks in my craw. I can't let it go. The Church and the apologists are stuck with the fact that they claim their God as a Personage of Spirit is sporting a boner. They are going to have to deal with this and face up to the fact that a BIG FAT BONER is being portrayed in LDS canon in stick form. It's there for everyone to see.

I can see it. You can see it. The apologists can see it too.

Wow. Look at that big fat boner! What is that doing in Mormon scripture?

[Shulem]

It's been said that we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ. And so, according to Abraham, it's going to be quite an appearance! Brethren and sisters, please cover your eyes. Don't look!

Look at me, look at me! I am Man-God of all Holiness.

[Shulem]

“The Book of Abraham,” The Pearl of Great Price Student Manual (2000), 28–41

Facsimiles 2–3
Abraham Taught the Egyptians
Facsimiles 2–3. Interpreting the Facsimiles
The figures in the facsimiles are symbolic. Explanations of the facsimiles other than those provided by the Prophet Joseph Smith, which are printed with the facsimiles in the Pearl of Great Price, are tentative and subject to revision by additional revelation and insight from modern prophets.

Yes "The figures in the facsimiles are symbolic" to the ancient Egyptians according to their beliefs and the conventions in which they interpreted them, NOT by the beliefs and conventions of Mormons living in the 1800's and thereafter.

It is not the business of Mormon Church Presidents to tell the dead Egyptians what their Facsimiles meant or the purpose of what they meant in the first place. Mormon Church Presidents know squat about the ancient Egyptian religion and are guided by two corrupt Egyptologists on the BYU payroll who should be defrocked -- two men who have committed great sacrilege against an ancient religion and its people. The BYU scholars are the greatest enemies of Egyptology and have slandered everything sacred held by the ancient Egyptians to include their gods, kings, and religion in general. Shame on them! Shame on the Mormon Church for slandering sacred religious documents of another religion.

Revenge is mine, as I slander the Mormon temple and mock their gods (Mormon Father and his horny long haired greasy boy) and disparage the so-called sacred secret Mormon rituals which were stolen from the Masons. I make no apologies for my mocking! The Mormons deserve it! Karma, baby. The Mormon temple rituals will continue to be mocked and belittled because it deserves to be mocked! BUT, If the Mormons will stop printing the Facsimile with the accompanying Explanations and apologize for their slander then I will gladly delete the thread below. Otherwise, it's a tit for a tat, thus the temple will be mocked until the whole world knows about it and the secrets become household names spoken upon the housetops for every ear to hear and every eye to see.

Down on the Telestial Board:

SECOND TOKEN OF THE MELCHIZEDEK PRIESTHOOD

PS. All of us are aging and getting closer to our last breath. I could die tomorrow. Nobody knows how much time any of us have. We can suddenly depart this world at anytime. I will have done my part to defend the ancient Egyptians and expose the lies and deception of Mormonism. For that, I remain proud and feel accomplished. Called to serve.



The following links in WIKIPEDIA are excellent sources worth bookmarking to acquire quick information about the Joseph Smith papyrus and learn more about this controversial subject.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

Book of Abraham
Joseph Smith Papyri
Criticism of the Book of Abraham
Joseph Smith Hypocephalus
Kirtland Egyptian papers
Book of Joseph (Latter Day Saints)
File:Facsimile 3 plate anubis.jpg