Just how safe are female missionaries?

[_msnobody]

“I'm trying to compare this to mission trips of other churches but it's difficult because I don't know any who send out youth for 2 years total. If they exist, I just don't know about it.”
Our daughter is on a cross cultural internship/mission for two years through Word of Life. Due to COVID, she’s back in the U.S., but still doing missionary work online until the country she serves opens its borders back up.

[_Jersey Girl]

Jersey Girl, I’d like to hear about your theory. It could help some of us figure out why we rolled over so easily for this.

I should think you would know better than I why you "rolled over" for it. Indoctrination practices that produce increased perceived dependency on the church essentially from cradle to grave.

If you have ever read my story here, you know that more than 20 years ago, I scheduled a meeting with the youth pastor of my church because one of our youth leaders made a comment in front of a little LDS girl who was there as my child's guest. They attended each other's churches for years. The girl left in tears, the mother (my BFF) called me as soon as they got home after dropping off my child, to tell me about it. I had the meeting the very next day and when I got home, I immediately picked up the phone to tell my friend about it. She was in tears and through her tears she asked me this question.

"Jersey, did he tell you that you couldn't be friends with me?"

Why would she say that? Why?

Cam, that one single sentence, that one question, is what drove me to the Internet for the very first time where I ended up on RFM over 20 years ago. I read every damn exit story I could get my hands on and ended up corresponding at length with Donna Banta--some folks here may know who she is. I landed on my first LDS related message board and that's how the old timer posters like Gunnar here came to know me.

In the 20 years I have been posting on these boards, I have had the privilege (and I mean that sincerely) of having quite a few doubting LDS share their concerns with me privately off the boards, using me as a sounding board or as a temporary outlet. I like to think that folks trust me or that at least they know I wouldn't try to do anything to harm them.

Throughout all of those correspondences was an underlying thread of fear and a sense of betrayal.

Cam I know I was indoctrinated to my faith. That's not even debatable. But I was not indoctrinated to any specific church. A relationship with Christ? Yes. A church? No. That's the difference that I see. Where my faith is essentially portable (Christ to go! ) the LDS faith in practice really does require the church as an institution. Certain milestones are expected to take place at certain ages. Not so in the churches that I have attended as a congregant. If those milestones aren't accomplished at the expected time, due to whatever reasons, the whole congregation knows it because they are conditioned to expect it and look for it. They know if a child has skipped baptism or a youth isn't going to the Temple. And, I am more than certain that the congregation speaks about it amongst themselves. I'm more than certain--I know for a fact that some of them do but to be sure, other churches have their fair share of gossipers. Why hasn't Levi so-and-so left for his mission yet? That's probably more noticeable than all the other milestones.

You go because you are conditioned to go. It's expected. You prepare for it. You hope "They send me on a mission!" (these phrases and lyrics are on rubber stamps and scrapbooking papers from Utah companies for pete sakes, you can't miss it). Jesus wants you for a sunbeam, and by God, he wants you to go on your mission. So why haven't you? Did you commit some egregious sin? Did you defile yourself? Are your parents who attend every Sunday and Wednesday, closet doubters? Jack Mormon's who drink and smoke? Did your parents not pay full tithe?

Something must be wrong with you or your family or why ain't YOU gone yet?

You go because you were conditioned to go. You sang your songs, you learned your lessons, you met your milestones, you peer pressured and church pressured yourself right onto a mission like everyone else is supposed to do because your Church and everyone in your culture told you it was the right thing to do for yourself and others. And you more than likely celebrated that bon voyage because you were "making it" within your culture.

(If the above babbling doesn't make sense, I edited it probably 10 times so just live with it.)

In one location, in a town called Marcona, I woke up in the middle of the night and went to the kitchen to get some water and turned on the homeowner’s light. The wall behind the stove was a thriving mass of cockroaches. Thousands. That was something like 18 months into my mission, and it was the first time I complained to the home office. It took me 18 months before I felt like I deserved to not live in misery. Crazy, no? I think maybe I thought that I was a privileged American and if I complain it would’ve made us, and by extension the Church, bad. I dunno.

Sounds lovely. I think you didn't complain because you were there to sacrifice. That's actually laudable in my book. And yet, sad at the same time when I think about some of you folks being thrown off the deep end before you knew what swimming even was. I'm very sorry that happened to you but if it contributed to the man I know you to be today...it was worth it. :-) We are all the sum total of our influences and experiences.

Anyway. I kept extensive journals, but burned all my Mormon stuff when I lived in North Carolina. I had a moment.

- Doc

How very poetic and probably not a little cathartic!

I do just want to say here that while I'm addressing negative issues, I do see so many positive outcomes in most of you folks here. You are intelligent, well informed, well read, highly educated in most cases and many of you are talented in ways that I could never hope to be. In other words, I think that you guys' were also positively influenced in directions that I never was as a kid. So in that regard, I admire and envy quite a few of you here.

Write another book why don'tcha Jersey.

[_Jersey Girl]

“I'm trying to compare this to mission trips of other churches but it's difficult because I don't know any who send out youth for 2 years total. If they exist, I just don't know about it.”
Our daughter is on a cross cultural internship/mission for two years through Word of Life. Due to COVID, she’s back in the U.S., but still doing missionary work online until the country she serves opens its borders back up.

Hold on. Hold on. You mean Word of Life based out of NY State? Is it that same place or something? Schroon Lake?

Asking because that's a name that I recognize.

Come on Weaps. The planes are crossing over here.

[_msnobody]

“I'm trying to compare this to mission trips of other churches but it's difficult because I don't know any who send out youth for 2 years total. If they exist, I just don't know about it.”
Our daughter is on a cross cultural internship/mission for two years through Word of Life. Due to COVID, she’s back in the U.S., but still doing missionary work online until the country she serves opens its borders back up.

Hold on. Hold on. You mean Word of Life based out of New York State? Is it that same place or something? Schroon Lake?

Asking because that's a name that I recognize.

Come on Weaps. The planes are crossing over here.

Yes, Jerz! Word of Life Schroon Lake. That’s like practically in your former back yard, isn’t it? She did one year of school in NY and one in Florida for her first two years of school.

[_Jersey Girl]

Hold on. Hold on. You mean Word of Life based out of New York State? Is it that same place or something? Schroon Lake?

Asking because that's a name that I recognize.

Come on Weaps. The planes are crossing over here.

Yes, Jerz! Word of Life Schroon Lake. That’s like practically in your former back yard, isn’t it? She did one year of school in New York and one in Florida for her first two years of school.

Stop it! You're killing me! I went to summer camp at Word of Life! Yeah so me and 2 other girls from my church/neighborhood went together. The PK and my BFF. We remain friends to this day even though we live all over the place. :-) Anyway, the camp there was fantastic and we had a great time!

That's just crazy! Kind of a small world!
:-)

(Oh my gosh, I have to tell this story. There was a kid there who knew how to play the piano like in a common area? So he got on there and played Ronnie by the Four Seasons. Right in Word of Life camp I kid you not! Everyone loved it of course since it was a pretty daring move back then!)

[_kairos]

In terms of organizations that "send out " missionaries , Sarah Young of "Jesus Calling et al" fame, describes the years she and her husband spent "planting " churches in Japan and Australia. Supported by back home churches these stints lasted up to a couple of years out in the field. Some Evangelical Churches run several months /weeks missionary experiences and of course so orders of RC priests and nuns send out missionaries to foreign countries, a RC priest friend spent 18 years in Haiti by himself and that is true for single and small colonies of nuns living out the Gospel in South America, Africa etc. Some RC orders deny religious to serve in their country of birth.
Clearly the control and oversight of these mishs is not even close to the Mormon mish program.
k

[_msnobody]

Duplicate post

[_msnobody]

I do just want to say here that while I'm addressing negative issues, I do see so many positive outcomes in most of you folks here. You are intelligent, well informed, well read, highly educated in most cases and many of you are talented in ways that I could never hope to be. In other words, I think that you guys' were also positively influenced in directions that I never was as a kid. So in that regard, I admire and envy quite a few of you here.

I couldn’t agree more.

Plus, ya’ll are like the Latter-day Saints that can hang out with the likes of me. Well, sort of. By that I mean that when someone like myself won’t join the church, we’re kicked to the curb.