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PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 12:31 pm 
He-Who-Has-Not-Sinned (Recently)
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moksha wrote:
Bond...James Bond wrote:
Bump (bump bump bump in the night)


Are you typing left handed?


No....I'm right handed (and yes I can type with only my right hand, when the left hand is usually involved with eating a sandwich)

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"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:33 am 
Bond...James Bond wrote:
No....I'm right handed (and yes I can type with only my right hand, when the left hand is usually involved with eating a sandwich)


Mmmm... Masturbation and eating simultaneously. There has to be a psychological name for such a strange habit. If there ever was a candidate for someone who needs a keyboard condom, it would definitely be someone who eats and spanks it at the same time; a mess is inevitable.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 8:29 am 
God
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Darn! I keep meaning to post that I just ran across this infamous pamplet quoted in its entirety in the most recent Irvine Welsh novel!

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Last edited by Blixa on Sun Dec 02, 2007 6:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 10:40 am 
He-Who-Has-Not-Sinned (Recently)
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*Giggle snort*

Does this thread ever get old?

I still laugh at some of this stuff sometimes.

Edit: 150th post.

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"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 11:00 am 
God
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:D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 9:20 pm 
He-Who-Has-Not-Sinned (Recently)
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What is the song "Hold on Loosely" by 38 Special talking about?

;)

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"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:22 pm 
Priest
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L
M
A
O!!

OMG, I am never going to stop laughing about ceiling kitty.

(holds sides)

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:24 pm 
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My teenage sister had multiple paintings of Jesus in her room. One was on the ceiling above her bed. My husband would wake up and say "Jesus Christ!" (edited to add, while we were visiting and given her room to sleep in!)

Nobody had sex in that room. Ever.

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Last edited by MishMagnet on Wed Dec 05, 2007 7:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 7:12 pm 
God

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I kind of knew what was going to be said being a deacon, teacher and priest in the 70's so I just passed it up. I finally took time to read it. I needed this - I have not laughed so hard in long time. If there is anything that can embarrass the church it is this document.

When I was in the MTC, Mark E. Peterson came to speak at the BYU sunday night thingy. After it was over he came over to the side to shake peoples hands. People were falling over each other to try and shake his hand. I sort of got disgusted and thought that all ninety year old men should experience what he is experiencing as people fall over each other to shake hands and especially the homeless - boy they should experience that too.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:33 pm 
He-Who-Has-Not-Sinned (Recently)
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MishMagnet wrote:
L
M
A
O!!

OMG, I am never going to stop laughing about ceiling kitty.

(holds sides)


I quite agree.....this thread single handedly could cure all depression in the world. Funny stuff.

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"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:42 am 
tired, less active investigator
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The early polygamy prevents masturbation.

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- Whenever a poet or preacher, chief or wizard spouts gibberish, the human race spends centuries deciphering the message. - Umberto Eco
- To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin. - Cardinal Bellarmine at the trial of Galilei


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 6:53 pm 
He-Who-Has-Not-Sinned (Recently)
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Well screw it. I love this thread. 21,000+ views. Chew on that MADBoard!

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"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 9:54 pm 
God

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this guy needs some serious help - LMAO

was on drudge:


http://startelegram.typepad.com/sky_tal ... s-law.html

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 8:07 am 
thestyleguy wrote:
this guy needs some serious help - LMAO

was on drudge:


http://startelegram.typepad.com/sky_tal ... s-law.html


That is massively gross! She should have sued for more. I hope she gets at least the settlement she asked for.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 11:25 pm 
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Time to get this thread going again.

What other funny names are there instead of "Masturbation"

I don't know why but the term "Choke the Chicken" makes me giggle.

As used in a sentence, "Grandma caught me Chokin the Chicken last night"

Image


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 8:24 pm 
He-Who-Has-Not-Sinned (Recently)
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neworder wrote:
Time to get this thread going again.

What other funny names are there instead of "Masturbation"

I don't know why but the term "Choke the Chicken" makes me giggle.

As used in a sentence, "Grandma caught me Chokin the Chicken last night"

Image


Kevin Spacey used these in American Beauty:

"Choking the Bishop"

"Chafing the Carrot"

"Saying Hello to my Monster"

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"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07


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 Post subject: Re: Overcoming Masturbation--Mark E. Petersen--Is this for real?
PostPosted: Sun Jun 19, 2011 9:43 pm 
Has More Degrees Than Droopy
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4 years ago.

The greatest thread.

In history.

Was posted.

This is that story.

In that time.

Approximately 123 billion people have masturbated.

And to those people.

We say unto you.

Well done sir and or madam.

_________________
Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded.-charity 3/7/07

MASH quotes
I peeked in the back [of the Bible] Frank, the Devil did it.
I avoid church religiously.
This isn't one of my sermons, I expect you to listen.


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 Post subject: Re: Overcoming Masturbation--Mark E. Petersen--Is this for real?
PostPosted: Sun Jun 19, 2011 9:49 pm 
\m/ \m/
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For those of you about to masturbate, I salute you. Well, part of me does anyway.

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"The soul is cheap
Lesson learned
Wish me luck
Soothe the burn
Wake me up"
Nirvana, Dumb

"Now do what they told ya."
Rage Against the Machine, Killing in the Name.


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 Post subject: Re: Overcoming Masturbation--Mark E. Petersen--Is this for real?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 10:20 am 
Has More Degrees Than Droopy
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Image

_________________
Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded.-charity 3/7/07

MASH quotes
I peeked in the back [of the Bible] Frank, the Devil did it.
I avoid church religiously.
This isn't one of my sermons, I expect you to listen.


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 Post subject: Re: Overcoming Masturbation--Mark E. Petersen--Is this for real?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 10:32 am 
\m/ \m/
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Location: my self-righteous suicide, System of a Down
One girl I dated told me that at standards night in her home ward, the adult women had told them that when married, if their husbands masturbated it meant that the wife was not living up to her temple marriage commitment and that the wife needed to pick up the pace of their sexual relationship. My date asked me what I thought? I asked her why she would think of disobeying her church leaders? She got mad, because it was as I was in the process of bugging out of the LDS Church and she'd heard me challenge this advice or that from leaders on numerous occasions.

_________________
"The soul is cheap
Lesson learned
Wish me luck
Soothe the burn
Wake me up"
Nirvana, Dumb

"Now do what they told ya."
Rage Against the Machine, Killing in the Name.


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 Post subject: Re: Overcoming Masturbation--Mark E. Petersen--Is this for r
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 11:45 pm 
Has More Degrees Than Droopy
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Location: Cassius University: Ho Chi Minh Professor of American Military History
Tyrion Lannister made the bald man cry:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZz3bxPSVnY

_________________
Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded.-charity 3/7/07

MASH quotes
I peeked in the back [of the Bible] Frank, the Devil did it.
I avoid church religiously.
This isn't one of my sermons, I expect you to listen.


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