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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 5:33 pm 
Star B
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Reading this entire thread has been great :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 9:09 pm 
God
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MJ,

I was thinking of going down and placing a bet on a horse. Of course it would be very helpful if you would happen to tell me which one I should bet on. I will not let anyone else in on our little secret. I figure a 50 50 split, just let me know where you want the cash deposited. I hear there are no banks up there.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 9:35 pm 
2nd Quorum of Seventy
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The kittens have a burning in their bosom!

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As soon as you concern yourself with the 'good' and 'bad' of your fellows, you create an opening in your heart for maliciousness to enter. Testing, competing with, and criticizing others weaken and defeat you. - O'Sensei


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 1:02 am 
God
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Dear Mormon Jesus,

Thy humble servant among the Mohammedans laugheth mightely. Yea, and his sides did pain him with a mighty pain as he beheld with his spiritual eyes the sentient Pogo sticks of heaven, and because of this vision did he continueth in loud laughter for the course of much time alone in his office on the Sabbath of thine main competitor over here, even A!!** (yep - that guy).

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Last edited by DrW on Fri Jul 20, 2012 7:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 1:16 am 
First Presidency
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DrW wrote:
Dear Mormon Jesus,

Thy humble servant among the Mohammedans laugheth mightely. Yea, and his sides did pain him with a mighty pain as he beheld with his spiritual eyes the sentient Pogo sticks of heaven, and because of this vision did he continueth in loud laughter for the course of much time alone in his office on the Sabbath of thy main competitor.


+1 !!


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 1:29 am 
Apostle
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Mormon Jesus wrote:
31. Unto my servant Don Bradley: Muhammad Ali had better technique, but Tyson in his prime had a lot more power and it delighted the soul to watch how quickly he knocked out his enemies, so my money would be on Tyson


As I cast my mind upon the night when I, like Martin Luther, retired to my secret chamber and asked this question, so secretly that even I knew it not, this is a sign unto me that you know the thoughts and intents of my heart better even than I.

Don


Last edited by DonBradley on Fri Jul 20, 2012 2:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 1:43 am 
Has More Degrees Than Droopy
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Dear Mormon Jesus please answer me these questions three:

Yeah or nay on that Mayan Dec 21, 2012 thing?

The Sharks or the Jets in West Side Story?

Is Mitt Romney carved from wood or wax?

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Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded.-charity 3/7/07

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I peeked in the back [of the Bible] Frank, the Devil did it.
I avoid church religiously.
This isn't one of my sermons, I expect you to listen.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 7:06 am 
God
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Dear Mormon Jesus: You are the best Jesus ever. May I have a pony? The other Jesus never came through with the goods, but I know the best Jesus ever would give me a pony. If it be thy will. A grey one.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 1:27 pm 
God

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Hermes wrote:
Mormon Jesus needs to write a book. This thread is seriously awe-inspiring.


It's called the Book of the Doctrine and Covenants


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 8:20 pm 
God
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That was the best one yet!

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 8:33 pm 
God
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:lol:

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOymhS1RDCY


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 9:13 pm 
Has More Degrees Than Droopy
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Mormon Jesus I giveth you this bounty of ale to fill thy grail on thy unbirthday:

Image

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Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded.-charity 3/7/07

MASH quotes
I peeked in the back [of the Bible] Frank, the Devil did it.
I avoid church religiously.
This isn't one of my sermons, I expect you to listen.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 11:25 pm 
First Presidency
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Oh Mormon Jesus, thou has taught us thy mysteries in parables. Thus I have prayed unto thee in the same manner. Thou hast not had the eyes to see it; and I am sorely grieved. Thy servant Franktalk hast tried to help me; and I have prayed these many more nights-but in vain. And now I see that thou has asked me, thy faithful maidservant, to give unto another who hath not. Yea, happily would I do so, but I am unable to find my way home. Where I am now they have only one single horse of a different color. Even the god from this world has now flown away without me; yea, and my dogs are really tired as they are trapped in tight seas of red. Even so, I hold my dog tightly in my arms. Please have mercy on me.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 11:37 pm 
God
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MJ,

I am so sorry. I got you all mixed up with a lessor god. The Book of the lessor god was inspired in 1900 whereas yours was much earlier. What I find so confusing is that the lessor god received its image awards in 1940 whereas you received nothing for the images in 1956 except for the miracles. I can understand why you smite us so often.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 7:20 am 
God
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Franktalk wrote:
...a lessor god.
Insomuch as we are required to make prescribed payments in exchange for the right to occupy a space in the temple, we are verily Children of a Lessor God.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 5:38 pm 
God
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Bret Ripley wrote:
Franktalk wrote:
...a lessor god.
Insomuch as we are required to make prescribed payments in exchange for the right to occupy a space in the temple, we are verily Children of a Lessor God.
My underline.


Excellent, Ripley.



And you too, Mormon Jesus. As always.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 5:59 pm 
God
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Come now, don't we all pay for everything in one way or another? Just who is the ultimate owner of the universe? Isn't it true that even our bodies are like unto a rental car? Who amongst you can claim ownership of anything? Let him stand and declare knowledge of such things. Give credit to the high creditor least He partially blind you into obedience anyway.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 11:56 pm 
First Presidency
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Franktalk wrote:
Come now, don't we all pay for everything in one way or another? Just who is the ultimate owner of the universe? Isn't it true that even our bodies are like unto a rental car? Who amongst you can claim ownership of anything? Let him stand and declare knowledge of such things. Give credit to the high creditor least He partially blind you into obedience anyway.


Oh Mormon Jesus, sometimes it seemeth more difficult than other times. Nevertheless, thy handmaiden will still:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc4e-HdlhPY

Please, give me strength. Oh, and before I forgetteth, I still cannot find my way home. I'm just sayin....not trying to be critical. I knoweth thou art very busy.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 12:19 am 
Nursery
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This has to be the bestest thread evah! Just sayin'!!!


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 8:15 am 
1st Counselor
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Big Red wrote:
This has to be the bestest thread evah! Just sayin'!!!

:lol:! So true! I hope we get another installment in this thread today from "Mormon Jesus". Damn funny stuff.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 6:37 am 
God
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MJ,

Why Hast thou turned thy back to us Most High. Surely we have not cast thee in a bad light like a cheap movie set. Are we not the apple of your eye? Have you forsaken us and gone to MDD? Oh the horror. Turn your face to us so we may receive and be re-established in your words. If someone has offended then instruct us so we may cast them into the dark pit of moderation and banishment. Be our guide so we may stay on the path to enlightenment and avoid the pitfalls of man's evil and oft times deranged links to nowhere. Where a guy in the basement of grandma's house seeks national recognition. Please open our eyes so we can see.

Of course you may be just taking a break. Like the seventh day. But thou has work to do and the clock stops for no one except you when you want it to.


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