Cam, I am so sorry this happened. I hope that you were both able to find happiness, and that you were able to at least treat each other amicably for the children's sake.

When I was going through my trial of faith, I talked with my husband about it. He is very TBM. He said that if I decided to leave the Church, he would accept it, and that he loved me, and even though the transition with me not in Church would be hard, it would not change our marriage, or how he felt about me.

Since we had gone through some other issues, and had worked through them, I did not want to add more stress to the marriage, even knowing how my husband felt. Therefore, I kept going to Church, in spite of my doubts.

This was how I was able to come to terms with my NOMness. There are aspects of the LDS religion that I still in dear, such as the worship of Jesus Christ. I can concentrate on that aspect while personally discounting a lot of the others. A lot of people here have labeled me a hypocrite for doing so, but real life always trumps Internet alliances. This has something that has worked for me. I don't suggest it for everyone, but am glad I found a solution that worked for our family.

I hope the couple in the article are happy. It sounds like they are, and that they are fulfilled in their marriage. That is the important thing.

Sorry that such a thing happened to you. If you disclosed this personal information here before, I didn't see it. I would never have guessed that this happened to you from your posts. You do not seem bitter or resentful at all.

Divorce was never discussed when my wife and I went through this. I took things very slowly (perhaps too slowly) and the "D" word was my greatest concern about the entire long drawn out process. I can't imagine how it must have felt to you at the time.

I hope that you are okay now and that you and your former wife are on good terms.

Oh, and thanks for setting me straight earlier. Much appreciated.

If only the author and her husband had read the apologetic excuses, she would have been fine with polygamy and the Book of Abraham. The apologists make it all better. I'm sure Ray A could have convinced her that it's OK for a 38 year old married man to marry a 14 year old girl.

Spanks. Of course there was a lot of acrimony as is typical of child custody issues, etc... But things have worked out well, now and everyone is cooh.

I agree with the sentiment that faith-based organizations ought to focus more on the here and now, marital stability, and acceptance rather than setting a psycho-social stage where the threat of eternal consequence impacts relationship stability. The consequences of families being torn apart over the notion of unknowable suppositions is a tragedy. It's a shame more adults can't overcome the loss or gain of faith. It's equally a shame that same loss or gain of faith comes with so much baggage, to include crazy demands. It is what it is, though.

- VRDRC

...when he is already married.

There. Made it even more accurate.

Ray,

Please reread my post. I didn't compare Joseph Smith to Warren Jeffs. Maren Stephenson, the author of the blog post that you found "very moving" did. Since you've now misread Compton, my post, and Stephenson's blog post, I will directly quote her here so people can read it for themselves (emphasis mine):


See, the way you choose to discuss things we are both reading (and I also have Compton's book in my hands) requires me to quote excerpts, so other people don't believe you when you vaguely accuse me of misunderstanding what was written. The things we are both reading do not support what you are saying, so I don't know why you are saying it, other than really poor reading comprehension skills or armchair apologist-caliber bad faith.

-JV

From the article


This I believe is one of the major factors that cause personal relationships to be damaged. This is what the church has programmed people to believe. That it cannot be the result of rational inquiry, that it all comes from sin, or the need to rationalize sin. This is part of the reason I want to people to be familiar with critical information. To demonstrate to them that doubting the truth claims of the church is reasonable given the available evidence.

Even BC Space believes this. Therefore, it must be official doctrine.

A Mormon response to this piece has been published in the Washington Post.

She doesn't directly address any of the concerns raised in the original article. Rather she takes this approach.



So polyandry, and the Book of Abraham... just broken bulbs that we can ignore.

This is what the Church teaches its young men about what are the important things to look for in a spouse...




I think it is clear that the Church teaches adults to love the religion first and the spouse second.