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Bond...James Bond
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Post by Bond...James Bond »

Somewhere in heaven......

Freud: Tell me about this dream of yours Joseph.

Smith: It wasn't a dream. It really happened. I was out in the woods and suddenly God and Jesus showed up....

Freud: That's very interesting. But that's not what you said the last time. Last time you said...

Smith: Are you sure? You were sniffing some of that powdered sugar during our session Doctor.

Freud: As I recall so were you.

Smith: Point taken.

Etc etc


Freud: Now about your polygamy Joseph. You must realize that you don't have a mandate from God to boink the butterchurn girl.

Smith: Are you sure? Whenever I talk with the girls they seem to fall over with their legs in the air. Isn't that a message from God?

Freud: No that's a message that they're loose. Stay away from loose women Joseph. They're fun at first but you'll regret it when the warts start.

Smith: I know Dr. It's just so hard. Being a Prophet of God is such a great gig.

Freud: You're not a Prophet of God Joseph. That's just a fantasy that has sprung out of your Oedipus Complex. Your lust for sex and depravity has warped your mind. You must realize there aren't any Golden Plates.

Smith: But I found the Plates. I translated them with the seer stones. And all these people are following me and the Book of Mormon. It has to be true. It has to be.

Freud: What if I told you that modern science has proven you wrong Joseph in just about every way.

Smith: Are you sure? I had a burning in my bosom and the Holy Ghost witnessed to me.

Freud: Trust me son. I've seen the Holy Ghost. And he doesn't appear as a burning in the bosom. He appears as a dripping in the back of your throat. Would you like some more powdered sugar?

Smith: Yes please.

Both: shhhhhhhhh! Ahh!
Last edited by Bond...James Bond on Mon Mar 05, 2007 6:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07

Yoda

Post by Yoda »

Bond...James Bond wrote:Somewhere in heaven......

Freud: Tell me about this dream of yours Joseph.

Smith: It wasn't a dream. It really happened. I was out in the woods and suddenly God and Jesus showed up....

Freud: That's very interesting. But that's not what you said the last time. Last time you said...

Smith: Are you sure? You were sniffing some of that powdered sugar during our session Doctor.

Freud: As I recall so were you.

Smith: Point taken.

Etc etc


Freud: Now about your polygamy Joseph. You must realize that you don't have a mandate from God to boink the butterchurn girl.

Smith: Are you sure? Whenever I talk with the girls they seem to fall over with their legs in the air. Isn't that a message from God?

Freud: No that's a message that they're loose. Stay away from loose women Joseph. They're fun at first but you'll regret it when the warts start.

Smith: I know Dr. It's just so hard. Being a Prophet of God is such a great gig.

Freud: You're not a Prophet of God Joseph. That's just a fantasy that has sprung out of your Oedipus Complex. Your lust for sex and depravity has warped your mind. You must realize there aren't any Golden Plates.

Smith: But I found the Plates. I translated them with the seer stones. And all these people are following me and the Book of Mormon. It has to be true. It has to be.

Freud: What if I told you that modern science has proven you wrong Joseph in just about every way.

Smith: Are you sure Dr. I had a burning in my bosom and the Holy Ghost witnessed to me.

Freud: Trust me son. I've seen the Holy Ghost. And he doesn't appear as a burning in the bosom. He appears as a dripping in the back of your throat. Would you like some more powdered sugar?

Smith: Yes please.

Both: shhhhhhhhh! Ahh!


ROTFLMAO!!!!

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Bond...James Bond
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Post by Bond...James Bond »

liz3564 wrote:ROTFLMAO!!!!


Really? I thought it was crap myself. Maybe my flu is getting to me again and I'm imagining stuff.

The only thing I thought was moderately funny was: "You must realize that you don't have a mandate from God to boink the butterchurn girl."


Bond..."one month of the flu is enough" James Bond
"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07

Yoda

Post by Yoda »

Bond...James Bond wrote:
liz3564 wrote:ROTFLMAO!!!!


Really? I thought it was crap myself. Maybe my flu is getting to me again and I'm imagining stuff.

The only thing I thought was moderately funny was: "You must realize that you don't have a mandate from God to boink the butterchurn girl."


Bond..."one month of the flu is enough" James Bond


Admittedly, you did capture the funniest part...but it was all very clever. ;)

Who knows? I'm still under the influence of the flu as well. Maybe we're delirious together. ;)

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Bond...James Bond
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Post by Bond...James Bond »

liz3564 wrote:
Admittedly, you did capture the funniest part...but it was all very clever. ;)

Who knows? I'm still under the influence of the flu as well. Maybe we're delirious together. ;)


I think that's code for (sarcastically) "there, there now, go back to your blocks. There's a good boy" While patting me on the head.

Computer virus?
"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07

Yoda

Post by Yoda »

Bond...James Bond wrote:Computer virus?


Unfortunately, no. We all had a stomach virus over the weekend. :(

Yoda

Post by Yoda »

Bond...James Bond wrote:I think that's code for (sarcastically) "there, there now, go back to your blocks. There's a good boy" While patting me on the head.


I would never patronize you. You're too cute! :)

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Bond...James Bond
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Post by Bond...James Bond »

liz3564 wrote:
Bond...James Bond wrote:I think that's code for (sarcastically) "there, there now, go back to your blocks. There's a good boy" While patting me on the head.


I would never patronize you. You're too cute! :)


Now you're patronizing. :)

Good thing I look like this:

Image
"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07

Yoda

Post by Yoda »

Hmmm...I actually prefer the Pierce Brosnan model. I'm old, remember? ;)

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Bond...James Bond
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Post by Bond...James Bond »

liz3564 wrote:Hmmm...I actually prefer the Pierce Brosnan model. I'm old, remember? ;)


all right. I jumped in the time machine, dyed my hair, and tied chewbacca to my chest. Ta da!

(We all know you're old.)

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"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07

jayneedoe
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Post by jayneedoe »

Bond...James Bond wrote:Freud: . . . . He appears as a dripping in the back of your throat. Would you like some more powdered sugar?

Smith: Yes please.

Both: shhhhhhhhh! Ahh!


LOL

Jaynee

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Sister Mary Lisa
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Post by Sister Mary Lisa »

moksha wrote:Dear Sister Mary Lisa ,OIH*, if you have the time, a Joseph and Sigmund Freud therapy session could be a hoot.



*the Order of Internet Humor


Funny idea. Never considered that before.....and I've never had requests for writing before either...hmmmm.

And it looks like Bond is great at taking the idea and running with it. You are funny, very funny, Bond! Love it!

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Bond...James Bond
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Post by Bond...James Bond »

jayneedoe wrote:LOL

Jaynee



Sister Mary Lisa wrote:And it looks like Bond is great at taking the idea and running with it. You are funny, very funny, Bond! Love it!


Uh, thanks ladies. I'm suprised anyone liked it. I thought it was pedestrian at best. I might work on it some more and throw it on my blog.

Bond
"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07

Yoda

Post by Yoda »

Bond...James Bond wrote:(We all know you're old.)


You brat! I ought to take you over my knee....No, wait, you would probably enjoy that! ;)

by the way...love the new picture. LOL

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Bond...James Bond
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Post by Bond...James Bond »

liz3564 wrote:
Bond...James Bond wrote:(We all know you're old.)


You brat! I ought to take you over my knee....No, wait, you would probably enjoy that! ;)


It wouldn't be the first time.
"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07

Yoda

Post by Yoda »

Bond...James Bond wrote:
liz3564 wrote:
Bond...James Bond wrote:(We all know you're old.)


You brat! I ought to take you over my knee....No, wait, you would probably enjoy that! ;)


It wouldn't be the first time.


Hmmm...How did I know? ;)

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Bond...James Bond
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Post by Bond...James Bond »

liz3564 wrote:Hmmm...How did I know? ;)


Old lady intuition?
"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07

Yoda

Post by Yoda »

Bond...James Bond wrote:
liz3564 wrote:Hmmm...How did I know? ;)


Old lady intuition?


SWAT! You asked for it!

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Bond...James Bond
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Post by Bond...James Bond »

liz3564 wrote:SWAT! You asked for it!


Thank you sir. May I please have another?

Image
"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07

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Mercury
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Post by Mercury »

Sister Mary Lisa wrote:
hermanuno wrote:That is funny stuff. Only a really twisted mind would think that up. I'm jealous.


Why, thank you! It's been at least a month since someone called my mind twisted.

My work here is done.


Congrats on the piece. Very good stuff!
And crawling on the planet's face
Some insects called the human race
Lost in time
And lost in space...and meaning

Yoda

Post by Yoda »

Bond...James Bond wrote:
liz3564 wrote:SWAT! You asked for it!


Thank you sir. May I please have another?



LOL!

I often wondered how long Kevin Bacon was spanked in that scene. Inquiring minds....

;)

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