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 Post subject: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 4:54 pm 
God

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I suspect your income does matter to women that are not desperate to find someone. I am going to do an experiment, I am going to change my income to 60,000+ on dating apps to see what happens.

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One explanation for the declines in marriage is the putative shortage of economically attractive partners for unmarried women to marry.... These synthetic husbands have an average income that is about 58% higher than the actual unmarried men that are currently available to unmarried women. They also are 30% more likely to be employed (90% vs. 70%) and 19% more likely to have a college degree (30% vs. 25%). Racial and ethnic minorities, especially Black women, face serious shortages of potential marital partners, as do low socioeconomic status and high socioeconomic status unmarried women, both at the national and subnational levels...


https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs ... jomf.12603


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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 5:32 pm 
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"do an experiment"

Limited funds is a drawback, there is absolutely no uncertainty to experiment about.

Lying about your money is a much bigger negative than limited funds. It will completely lock you out unless you are awfully charming and manipulative.(and can maintain the deception)


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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 7:20 pm 
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Gad had it right. This is as blatant an attempt at forcing reality to confirm to ones preconceptions in order to hide from reality as exists. Want to reinforce the reason women won't date you is because you aren't well off while secretly knowing you aren't ready for a relationship so avoid doing the things needed to develop one that will blow up and prove you are the problem? Lying about being lower-middle class+ in a dating app sounds about right.

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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 9:01 pm 
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honorentheos wrote:
Gad had it right. This is as blatant an attempt at forcing reality to confirm to ones preconceptions in order to hide from reality as exists. Want to reinforce the reason women won't date you is because you aren't well off while secretly knowing you aren't ready for a relationship so avoid doing the things needed to develop one that will blow up and prove you are the problem? Lying about being lower-middle class+ in a dating app sounds about right.


On Tinder I swipe right to about 90% of profile pictures and I rarely get a reply when I send a message on Match. Can you please tell me why? Perhaps because I am honest about my income. I am just tired. I never had a date with a girl from a dating app, let alone a relationship. All I want is a simple date, I am not telling women to sleep with me. Dating apps are a waste of time and money. I don't know what to do. Tell me what I am doing wrong on the dating apps. If I am not ready for a relationship how would women on the dating apps know that? I probably have a better chance of winning the lottery than finding a girlfriend on a dating app.


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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 9:10 pm 
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DT, what is the last thing you did that was focused on working on you?

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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 9:27 pm 
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honorentheos wrote:
DT, what is the last thing you did that was focused on working on you?


I am a little bit over weight, but I am losing weight right now. I think I will stop being over weight in two to three months. But I am not obese as defined by NIH. What am I doing wrong on dating apps? Why can't I get just a simple date? Is there a god punishing me? I think part of the problem is my income.


Last edited by DoubtingThomas on Fri Sep 06, 2019 9:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 9:29 pm 
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DT, what specifically is the last thing you did that was focused on working on you?

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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 9:31 pm 
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honorentheos wrote:
DT, what specifically is the last thing you did that was focused on working on you?


Losing weight is the last thing I did.


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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 9:32 pm 
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I will send you a PM.


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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 9:37 pm 
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DoubtingThomas wrote:
On Tinder I swipe right to about 90% of profile pictures and I rarely get a reply when I send a message on Match. Can you please tell me why? Perhaps because I am honest about my income. I am just tired. I never had a date with a girl from a dating app, let alone a relationship. All I want is a simple date, I am not telling women to sleep with me. Dating apps are a waste of time and money. I don't know what to do. Tell me what I am doing wrong on the dating apps. If I am not ready for a relationship how would women on the dating apps know that? I probably have a better chance of winning the lottery than finding a girlfriend on a dating app.


I don't know how to swipe right on a Tinder. :-) But I am sure that you are creating your own obstacles, DT.

If you want a simple date (which is a great idea, by the way) you have to go out and get yourself around other folks and get to know people, not just girls either.

Get to know people and let people know you. Your income shouldn't be a big deal. There are plenty of girls and guys in the same situation and plenty of ways to date that don't cost a ton of money. When I met my boyfriend decades ago, we both had crap jobs. And we built ourselves up from there and built a life together.

If there are guys at work ask one if them if they want to grab lunch or dinner with you one day...some place cheap. ;-) And go from there.

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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 9:41 pm 
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DoubtingThomas wrote:
honorentheos wrote:
DT, what specifically is the last thing you did that was focused on working on you?


Losing weight is the last thing I did.


I have a thread stuffed away in Prison called The Score So Far...it's for exercise, weight loss, discussing ups and downs--whatever. Feel free to post there if you need ideas about weight loss or working out, reporting your successes, bitching about non-success, good food ideas...anything that has to do with wellness. You could catch some inspiration or BE the inspiration...who knows?

Look through it and see if anything looks good to you. You're welcome to post there any time. Everyone who has participated there has been supportive.

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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 10:31 pm 
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DoubtingThomas wrote:
honorentheos wrote:
DT, what specifically is the last thing you did that was focused on working on you?


Losing weight is the last thing I did.

What specifically did you do that caused you to lose weight?

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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2019 12:10 am 
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Jersey Girl wrote:

If there are guys at work ask one if them if they want to grab lunch or dinner with you one day...some place cheap. ;-) And go from there.


At work I am not surrounded by young people that like to go out on the weekends. I am probably the only one there that doesn't have children. Most men are older and don't have time to hang out. Where I work is like a prison. Really. There is no time to go somewhere for lunch.

To meet new people I can join a club, but there is nothing interesting so far. Dating apps are really the only thing I have for the moment. Hopefully that changes in the near future. I do have plans.

Jersey Girl wrote:
If you want a simple date (which is a great idea, by the way) you have to go out and get yourself around other folks and get to know people, not just girls either. .


Where? at a bar? Do I start talking to strangers on the street?

honorentheos wrote:
What specifically did you do that caused you to lose weight?


Healthier diet and some exercise.


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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2019 12:23 am 
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If someone here wants to hang out let me know. We can go see a movie or go somewhere.


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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2019 12:43 am 
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DoubtingThomas wrote:
Jersey Girl wrote:

If there are guys at work ask one if them if they want to grab lunch or dinner with you one day...some place cheap. ;-) And go from there.


At work I am not surrounded by young people that like to go out on the weekends. I am probably the only one there that doesn't have children. Most men are older and don't have time to hang out. Where I work is like a prison. Really. There is no time to go somewhere for lunch.


Bloody hell, do they EAT? :lol: Bring a dessert (get pies) in to work and pass it around! I'm telling you to make friends with the guys at work first. Then you make a guy friend and go places together.

Quote:
To meet new people I can join a club, but there is nothing interesting so far. Dating apps are really the only thing I have for the moment. Hopefully that changes in the near future. I do have plans.


Dating apps aren't working. You have to OUT get around real people.

Quote:
Jersey Girl wrote:
If you want a simple date (which is a great idea, by the way) you have to go out and get yourself around other folks and get to know people, not just girls either. .


Where? at a bar? Do I start talking to strangers on the street?


Back in the day all it took was a nickel bag, a bottle of Boones Farm and an afternoon walk around the local hippie park. :lol: Okay, I'm old...

Make a guy friend, go with the guy friend...I don't know what you have in your area.

A Riverwalk
Free concerts in a park
Mini golf
A festival downtown where they have bands and food
Go to a car show
Hike some place
Bowling
Go to a pub crawl

What am I your tour guide? :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2019 8:06 am 
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DoubtingThomas wrote:
honorentheos wrote:
What specifically did you do that caused you to lose weight?


Healthier diet and some exercise.

More specific. What were the active actions you took, specifically to work on you?

Also, what specifically have you done last that was working on you that wasn't targeting your body or your employment?

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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2019 3:15 pm 
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Jersey Girl wrote:
Bloody hell, do they EAT? :lol: Bring a dessert (get pies) in to work and pass it around! I'm telling you to make friends with the guys at work first. Then you make a guy friend and go places together.


As I said at work most do not have the time to go to places. I have tried it before. If I make a friend from work he will likely be an older married man. I will just keep trying I guess. But I really need to find a club to join, or volunteer in some charity. I have to do something new.

Jersey Girl wrote:
Back in the day all it took was a nickel bag, a bottle of Boones Farm and an afternoon walk around the local hippie park. :lol: Okay, I'm old...

Make a guy friend, go with the guy friend...I don't know what you have in your area.


For men it is not as easy like it used to be. It is now weird to talk to strangers and it is not easy to make new friends.


Last edited by DoubtingThomas on Sat Sep 07, 2019 3:29 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2019 3:18 pm 
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honorentheos wrote:
More specific. What were the active actions you took, specifically to work on you?

Also, what specifically have you done last that was working on you that wasn't targeting your body or your employment?


Good question. I do volunteer with SETI projects and I sometimes go to the mountains by myself to relax.


Last edited by DoubtingThomas on Sat Sep 07, 2019 3:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2019 3:18 pm 
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Jersey Girl wrote:
Your income shouldn't be a big deal.


It is part of the problem for me. Jillian Straus author of Unhooked Generation: The Truth About Why We’re Still Single said, "Women often want a more successful man, even if they’re successful themselves—one study found that successful women want to be with a successful man even more so than their non-successful counterparts." So I can forget about women making more than me. I make less than the median income (by age) in the US.

Quote:
Here’s the median income American men are earning at every age:

16 to 19 years: $501 weekly ($26,052 annually)
20 to 24 years: $624 weekly ($32,448 annually)
25 to 34 years: $877 weekly ($45,604 annually)
35 to 44 years: $1,112 weekly ($57,824 annually)
45 to 54 years: $1,138 weekly ($59,176 annually)
55 to 64 years: $1,191 weekly ($61,932 annually)
65 years and older: $1,037 weekly ($53,924 annually)


Women are changing and are now much more picky than ever before.


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 Post subject: Re: your wallet matters according to NEW study
PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2019 7:44 pm 
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Well Doubting Thomas, you're an American citizen, right? You could always get a mail order bride. But yeah, if you're a man and you consider yourself a 7 on a 1-10 scale, you'll marry a 7 or below at best. You won't marry an 8. Women have the upper hand before during and after the marriage. If you don't have any religious convictions pushing you otherwise, I'd suggest not getting married at all is a much happier way to go. Marriage is one of the worst financial decisions a man can make. I wouldn't waste time trying to get thinner and more fit. Become a doctor or do something to make yourself some money and you'll have plenty of women showing you a very different attitude. But believe me when I say that getting married at that point would be a mistake.

I'm not sure why anyone had to do a study to prove the obvious. Of course your wallet matters. It matters more than your looks, your race, more than anything . It always has.

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