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 Post subject: Re: your sexual history does matter
PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2019 5:51 pm 
God

Joined: Sun Apr 05, 2015 1:25 pm
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DoubtingThomas wrote:
I respect women in real life.

Not based on your statements here about women, which are very offensive. Please stop talking about women as things.


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 Post subject: Re: your sexual history does matter
PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2019 6:17 pm 
God
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DoubtingThomas wrote:
Jersey Girl wrote:
And if having a relationship that brings you joy were really important to you, you would GO find one. f!

I do not have the opportunity to talk to a lot of women like I had in high school. I am mostly a loner and all I do is work, go home, work, go home, work, go home. I do not have friends, when I want to go to the movies I go by myself. Perhaps the problem is my city because it is complete s***. There are no good clubs that I am interested in. All I have are stupid dating apps.

No. I meant Go find a therapist. This post below is what you were responding to. The whole entire thing is about getting a therapist.

Quote:
And THAT is why you need a therapist.

You aren't crazy. You simply do not understand normal relationships in normal ways. If what people here have been telling you (especially the guys who gave you guy advice) hasn't sunk in by now, then that is a clue to you that you do need a therapist who can work with you one:one. And if having a relationship that brings you joy were really important to you, you would GO find one.

You would go find a therapist. And then, I suggested a type of therapy below that.

Quote:
(I would suggest CBT, but EAllusion knows far better than I do.)

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 Post subject: Re: your sexual history does matter
PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2019 6:48 pm 
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Quote:
DoubtingThomas wrote:
I do not have the opportunity to talk to a lot of women like I had in high school. I am mostly a loner and all I do is work, go home, work, go home, work, go home. I do not have friends, when I want to go to the movies I go by myself. Perhaps the problem is my city because it is complete s***. There are no good clubs that I am interested in. All I have are stupid dating apps.

To add. So even if I get the best therapist in the world, he/she probably won't help me find friends.

It's not your work schedule.
It's not your city.
It's not the dating apps.
It's not the lack of "good clubs".

It's you.

I have told you multiple times that you can find a therapist who would act as a life coach. That's what you need. That's exactly what you need.

You don't know how to begin a relationship.
You don't know how to end a relationship.

And all the stuff in between the beginning and the end, you don't know how to do that either.

I'm not being unkind here. I'm being truthful based on your own comments.

A therapist/life coach will help you learn how to do the beginning, the end of a relationship and all the stuff in between.

DT if there is a university in your area with a psych department, you might be able to find free group or individual therapy that is facilitated by psych students.

I know for a solid fact that in my area, there are therapy groups available that are facilitated in that exact way. Some of these groups are held evenings and weekends--after working hours.

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 Post subject: Re: your sexual history does matter
PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2019 6:53 pm 
God

Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 12:43 pm
Posts: 13087
DoubtingThomas wrote:
I do make enough money to survive, but not a lot. I doubt an attractive woman making a lot more would be interested in me.

There are plenty of women who do, but your chances go way down with that kind of thinking and attitudes.

Quote:
Yes. My main problem is that I do not talk to many girls in real life. I mostly just work, go home, work, go home, work, go home. I could join a club, but there are no interesting clubs around. However, I cannot explain my lack of success on dating apps. Perhaps my city is the problem. My city complete s***.

If you live within an hour's drive of more then a 100,000 people then there will be groups for just about every interest. You can find lots of groups from places like https://www.meetup.com/ where you can meet nice people and work on some of those social skills you need.

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 Post subject: Re: your sexual history does matter
PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2019 7:07 pm 
God
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DoubtingThomas wrote:
Yes. My main problem is that I do not talk to many girls in real life. I mostly just work, go home, work, go home, work, go home. I could join a club, but there are no interesting clubs around. However, I cannot explain my lack of success on dating apps. Perhaps my city is the problem. My city complete s***.

Volunteer.

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 Post subject: Re: your sexual history does matter
PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2019 7:15 pm 
God
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Jersey Girl wrote:
...
...
You talk about women as if they are things.

...

DT hasn't picked up on this in 6 pages...sooo

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 Post subject: Re: your sexual history does matter
PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2019 9:29 pm 
God

Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2016 1:04 am
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Jersey Girl wrote:
It's not your work schedule.
It's not your city.
It's not the dating apps.
It's not the lack of "good clubs".

It's you.

I have told you multiple times that you can find a therapist who would act as a life coach. That's what you need. That's exactly what you need.

You don't know how to begin a relationship.
You don't know how to end a relationship.

And all the stuff in between the beginning and the end, you don't know how to do that either.

I'm not being unkind here. I'm being truthful based on your own comments.

A therapist/life coach will help you learn how to do the beginning, the end of a relationship and all the stuff in between.

DT if there is a university in your area with a psych department, you might be able to find free group or individual therapy that is facilitated by psych students.

I know for a solid fact that in my area, there are therapy groups available that are facilitated in that exact way. Some of these groups are held evenings and weekends--after working hours.

I will do everything possible to get one. Thanks.


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 Post subject: Re: your sexual history does matter
PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 5:04 pm 
God

Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2016 1:04 am
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Again I do appreciate your advice Jersey Girl, I will get health insurance for 2020 to find a therapist/life coach. I will let you know when it happens.


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 Post subject: Re: your sexual history does matter
PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 5:53 pm 
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DoubtingThomas wrote:
Again I do appreciate your advice Jersey Girl, I will get health insurance for 2020 to find a therapist/life coach. I will let you know when it happens.


You are most welcome. You're not crazy, you're just a little screwed up. Join the club!

:lol:

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