I hardly write about in real life stuff around here but I've just gotta say a few things. I was shopping in Walmart yesterday when one of my kids texted me to ask if remembered one of her gf's she played with as a child. I said of course, I did. A nice little girl, always liked having her over the house. Then I waited for the shoe to drop and it did. She's married with a young child now and dying of stage IV lung cancer. Apparently this is due to genetics.
I want to scream and cry.
Another of my kids called me just a few minutes ago to ask if I heard about CT, a preschool parent (also a teacher) whose 2 daughters I taught. His older daughter wanted to be a teacher "Like Miss Jersey" and we communicated via her mom's email when she went to kindergarten because she wanted to stay in touch with me and she could practice literacy via email. He died earlier this month on my birthday from stage IV colon cancer.
GOD.
And here I have been putting off scheduling on the referral I've got for a colonoscopy like some baby ass coward because I'm afraid of feeling weak and exhausted due to the "preparation" and my heart might flip out.
Talk about taking me down a few notches. At least my heart is still beating.
Still screaming and crying in my head. Thanks for listening. I hate this day.
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
“The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated communist, but people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists.”
― Hannah Arendt, The Origins of Totalitarianism, 1951
A cancer that mostly kills smokers and one that is often easily beaten when caught early. Two senseless deaths in such a short time.
That must be very difficult for you.
As soon as you concern yourself with the 'good' and 'bad' of your fellows, you create an opening in your heart for maliciousness to enter. Testing, competing with, and criticizing others weaken and defeat you. - O'Sensei
I'm so sorry. Good thoughts and loving heart beats to you. I know, I know, it sounds trite, and I really honest to gosh don't mean it to, but life happens. And death is part of life. We have the hard with the easy, the happy with the sad. I wish you the very best.
Dr CamNC4Me
"Dr. Peterson and his Callithumpian cabal of BYU idiots have been marginalized by their own inevitable irrelevancy defending a fraud."
Jersey Girl wrote:Thanks guys. That was me having a tantrum yesterday, feeling like a stupid fool yet angry at the same time.
Believe me, it happens. People so young dying juxtaposed with me being a full on procrastinating excuse making coward.
Sometimes the planes cross and I go around pouting and stomping my feet or in this case, stomping out a post.
Thanks for the comments. I'll try to grow up now.
No guarantees from the management though. ;-)
No worries, Jersey Girl. A good tantrum now and then is cleansing.
Happy Easter
“The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated communist, but people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists.”
― Hannah Arendt, The Origins of Totalitarianism, 1951
But... but....... but Jersey Girl! If YOU grow up, then I might have to and that could be disastrously magnificent..... can you possibly imagine an adult acting Philo Sofee?!
Hey, sharing events in life is what being community is all about. Thank you for sharing and allowing us to reach out and give a little support. It's what good friends and family is all about.....
Dr CamNC4Me
"Dr. Peterson and his Callithumpian cabal of BYU idiots have been marginalized by their own inevitable irrelevancy defending a fraud."
Just following up here a bit. The young woman that I wrote about in the OP died in the early morning hours today. Things changed fast and her family was fortunately with her. There's no need for anyone to respond here, it wasn't my personal loss. After I wrote the OP I dug around online and found their Caring Bridge Journal, got a running start and jumped in. I left some comments of support and today, of course, condolences and memories of a good girl who was a good friend. I learned that they had an online fund raiser so I promoted it on my Facebook like a cheap hooker trolling for johns. I don't like to hit people up for money but when there's a young child involved, I pretty much go into shameless mode.
They just needed the money to pay their bills while they did the right thing in being with her.
There is just so much human courage witnessed here. We see the heroes hailed and honored in our news reports but no one really takes much time to acknowledge the courage of a family. No one wants to attend to a death, but we extend ourselves for people we love. We go in not knowing what it will be like or what we'll witness, it's scary not knowing, and yet, love drives some of us to go in. So we go.
I've attended the death of one person in my life. I think that in spite of the fear of what the experience might be like, it's a matter of your relationship with a person that makes you think that you don't know how it's going to happen, but you're going to go through it with themno matter what.
She was fortunate to have parents, siblings and a husband who were all determined that she wouldn't go it alone, that no matter what, they were going to go through it with her. In my book that's real love and real courage at work.
She left this world in the arms of her loved ones. Just as is should be. Not everyone gets that. Through the devotion of her family, she got what I call the final note of the symphony.
What bothers me most is that the one person who I assume she would desperately want to be remembered by, likely will not remember her because he's only 2+ years old. And yet, I know that while it's not likely that he'll retain a memory of her and more likely that she'll be come an abstract concept to him, it IS possible because I myself have a memory from under 3 years of age. Just one memory and it's an important one.
I'm hoping that he's blessed with the same thing. She only had 2 years with him and most of that was interrupted by illness. I'm really hoping and praying that he can keep a memory.
Just one.
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
