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 Post subject: Non-haikus from ''Mormon Haiku!''
PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:09 pm 
Elder

Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2009 5:56 pm
Posts: 334
General conference
Over and done again
More s*** to eat


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 12:57 am 
Founder & Visionary
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kairos and thews:

Haikus have a 5-7-5 syllable pattern:

The first line has five syllables.
The second line has seven syllables.
The third line has five syllables.

Now go thou and sin no more.

_________________
"[D. Michael Quinn] is excommunicated so we can't trust anything he ever said? Why does that work for him but not for the witnesses to the Book of Mormon?"

--ZelphtheGreat, 10/17/2013


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 11:18 am 
\m/ \m/
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Location: my self-righteous suicide, System of a Down
Dr. Shades wrote:
kairos and thews:

Haikus have a 5-7-5 syllable pattern:

The first line has five syllables.
The second line has seven syllables.
The third line has five syllables.

Now go thou and sin no more.

And it came to pass, that ex-Mo missionary to Japan, Doctor Shades, corrected the westerners on the proper syllable count in the three lines of a haiku, and the rebuked westerners went forth either to avoiding haiku composition altogether or using the correct five, seven, five syllable pattern. So saith the haiku god.

_________________
"The soul is cheap
Lesson learned
Wish me luck
Soothe the burn
Wake me up"
Nirvana, Dumb

"Now do what they told ya."
Rage Against the Machine, Killing in the Name.


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 6:02 pm 
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sock puppet wrote:
And it came to pass, that ex-Mo missionary to Japan, Doctor Shades, corrected the westerners on the proper syllable count in the three lines of a haiku, and the rebuked westerners went forth either to avoiding haiku composition altogether or using the correct five, seven, five syllable pattern.

Which is precisely as it should be.

_________________
"[D. Michael Quinn] is excommunicated so we can't trust anything he ever said? Why does that work for him but not for the witnesses to the Book of Mormon?"

--ZelphtheGreat, 10/17/2013


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 6:07 pm 
Brought to you by
Image


Brigham Young and his sex poodle! Image

Sincerely,

Thomas S. Monson
President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 6:35 pm 
Quote:
Enish-go-on-dosh

Image

Quote:
Oliblish

Image

Quote:
Hah-ko-kau-beam

Image

Joseph Smith Jr.
Egyptian Translator


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 5:33 pm 
Mormon apostles make appearances of righteousness
but inwardly they are ravenous wolves

Mormon apostles sit humbly in their velvet red chairs
but inwardly all their needs are provided for many times fold

Mormon apostles walk about as saints bow before them
but they are stiffnecked and jacked up in their pride

Mormon apostles never talk about their sins
but all of them have stories that could be told

I would like to hear about fornication sins committed by the apostles! I would like to hear about the sexual teenage sins committed by the apostles. Do tell!

Paul O


Last edited by Paul Osborne on Fri Oct 22, 2010 5:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 5:38 pm 
Founder & Visionary
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PAUL:

Damn it, a haiku consists of THREE LINES.

The first line has five syllables.
The second line has seven syllables.
The third line has five syllables.

GET IT RIGHT!!

_________________
"[D. Michael Quinn] is excommunicated so we can't trust anything he ever said? Why does that work for him but not for the witnesses to the Book of Mormon?"

--ZelphtheGreat, 10/17/2013


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 5:41 pm 
God

Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:35 pm
Posts: 18138
Location: Shady Acres Status: MODERATOR
Dr. Shades wrote:
PAUL:

Damn it, a haiku consists of THREE LINES.

The first line has five syllables.
The second line has seven syllables.
The third line has five syllables.

GET IT RIGHT!!


Maybe he was writing a sonnet... or an epic poem.

_________________
(Nevo, Jan 23) And the Melchizedek Priesthood may not have been restored until the summer of 1830, several months after the organization of the Church.


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 5:42 pm 
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harmony wrote:
Maybe he was writing a sonnet... or an epic poem.

Then he needs to start a new thread.

_________________
"[D. Michael Quinn] is excommunicated so we can't trust anything he ever said? Why does that work for him but not for the witnesses to the Book of Mormon?"

--ZelphtheGreat, 10/17/2013


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 5:42 pm 
God
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Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 6:16 pm
Posts: 13636
Location: Off the Deep End
Dr. Shades wrote:
PAUL:

Damn it, a haiku consists of THREE LINES.

The first line has five syllables.
The second line has seven syllables.
The third line has five syllables.

GET IT RIGHT!!



Agree. I think he was sharing Texas haiku.
;-)

_________________
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 5:45 pm 
I'm a renegade! Consider me an apostate poster on your lovely Mormon board. I love to do things wrong. I'm a pervert.

Paul O


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 7:03 pm 
harmony wrote:
Maybe he was writing a sonnet... or an epic poem.


Maybe I just need you to hold me and kiss me. Have you ever thought of that?

Paul O


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 2:55 pm 
\m/ \m/
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Joined: Fri Jul 23, 2010 7:52 am
Posts: 11457
Location: my self-righteous suicide, System of a Down
Dr. Shades wrote:
PAUL:

Damn it, a haiku consists of THREE LINES.

The first line has five syllables.
The second line has seven syllables.
The third line has five syllables.

GET IT RIGHT!!

Paul is his own man, living outside the rules.

_________________
"The soul is cheap
Lesson learned
Wish me luck
Soothe the burn
Wake me up"
Nirvana, Dumb

"Now do what they told ya."
Rage Against the Machine, Killing in the Name.


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:06 pm 
The Church is true

The prophet leads us

I love my mommy and daddy

I love the prophet

Jesus name amen

Paul O


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:14 pm 
Paul Osborne wrote:
The Church is true

The prophet leads us

I love my mommy and daddy

I love the prophet

Jesus name amen

Paul O


I'll help you out this one time, before you get berated again for not writing a proper Haiku.

The Church is true and
Joseph Smith was a prophet
Was that so hard, Paul?


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:16 pm 
God
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 1:42 pm
Posts: 13336
Location: Koloburbia
Attention
Paul
Haiku!


Church is twu
Name Jesus
Amen

_________________
Cry Heaven and let loose the Penguins of Peace


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:18 pm 
Simon Belmont wrote:
I'll help you out this one time, before you get berated again for not writing a proper Haiku.

The Church is true and
Joseph Smith was a prophet
Was that so hard, Paul?


The Church ain't true and
Joseph Smith ain't a profit
Was that so hard, Dick?

Paul O


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:21 pm 
moksha wrote:
Attention
Paul
Haiku!


Church is twu
Name Jesus
Amen


i know jesus loves me
i know profit is true
jesus name




amen


Paul O


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:26 pm 
God
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 1:42 pm
Posts: 13336
Location: Koloburbia
Church is true
book is blue
so are you

_________________
Cry Heaven and let loose the Penguins of Peace


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 Post subject: Re: Mormon Haiku!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:27 pm 
Simon Belmont wrote:
Paul, you're ruining
This humorous thread, okay?
Please cease and desist


What does disist mean? I have to go look that one up in the dictionary.

Paul O


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