Celestial...Give Me Some Answers. Another Mormon Suicide

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_Meadowchik
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Re: Celestial...Give Me Some Answers. Another Mormon Suicide

Post by _Meadowchik »

I'm so sorry.

And I echo Jersey Girl about the life she did have and the positive and good you did share with her.
_candygal
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Re: Celestial...Give Me Some Answers. Another Mormon Suicide

Post by _candygal »

Jersey Girl wrote:cg,

Thanks to my curiosity about what faqs was posting about in Celestial, I happened upon your opening post. I am not going to be at my best at 3 a.m. my time, but let me give you a reply.

You wrote, "This went on for months..and she was quiet most of the time..and then she was gone. So...you celestial people here...tell me..tell me..that I could not have made a difference...or tell me that there we things I did not uonderstand..just tell me..that there is a reason why I have planned walks with her in my retirement days that will no longer be."

You DID make a difference. You loved your friend well while she lived.

I and every member of my family are suicide survivors. The grief associated with suicide is different than other types of grief. For example, when a loved one dies from a sudden heart attack, we feel a deep sense of shock and loss but hardly ever ask ourselves "what if", as if we had the power to prevent it.

Suicide is a different animal altogether. We live with conflicted emotions and thoughts. We feel the deep loss, we cry, we retreat within ourselves, we experience anger and we beat ourselves up with "what if's" , as if we had the power to heal the brain of another when experts have a tough time doing it.

This grief is called complicated grief.

I think you should see a therapist and here is why. You have a right to feel sad and angry and helpless. And you have the right to live. I mean, really live, cg. See if you can locate a therapist who helps folks who are suicide survivors.

In the mean time, know that you gave your friend what she needed when she needed it from you.

See a therapist, girl. It will help you through this sorrow filled time and give you a place to unpack your complicated grief.

You have a right to live.
Thank you so much. We had such good times and religion itself was so not part of the good friendship. My only concern as far as the LDS church was that they would expound her poor self esteem. Thank you. You are good friend.
_candygal
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Re: Celestial...Give Me Some Answers. Another Mormon Suicide

Post by _candygal »

Meadowchik wrote:I'm so sorry.

And I echo Jersey Girl about the life she did have and the positive and good you did share with her.
I am so glad that I have you to talk to sometimes. There are friends on the other board that I could have shared this with..but was banned until the 24th. So be it. One thing I have learned..is knowing what true friends are and can be in my own becoming. Thank you.
_Meadowchik
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Re: Celestial...Give Me Some Answers. Another Mormon Suicide

Post by _Meadowchik »

candygal wrote:
Meadowchik wrote:I'm so sorry.

And I echo Jersey Girl about the life she did have and the positive and good you did share with her.
I am so glad that I have you to talk to sometimes. There are friends on the other board that I could have shared this with..but was banned until the 24th. So be it. One thing I have learned..is knowing what true friends are and can be in my own becoming. Thank you.


I am glad, too. You are a good friend to me!
_Jersey Girl
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Re: Celestial...Give Me Some Answers. Another Mormon Suicide

Post by _Jersey Girl »

cg let us know how you are getting on with this, okay? It's a long hard road. Your MDB friends and acquaintances care how you are.
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
_candygal
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Re: Celestial...Give Me Some Answers. Another Mormon Suicide

Post by _candygal »

Jersey Girl wrote:cg let us know how you are getting on with this, okay? It's a long hard road. Your MormonDiscussions.com friends and acquaintances care how you are.

Thank you so much. This week I am hoping to find a non LDS counselor...someone out of the box that can separate church from suicide is a plus for me..For some reason I feel like I should have opened up more and perhaps her disappointment would have been less..trying to reach her daughter, too. I have a quilt she gave me..I believe it should stay in the family.

Thanks so much. There are tentacles of church that remains in the reasons of my sister's suicide. For LDS.fags...my wonderful and active priesthood holding father told my sister..that she would never see her daughter again ..(my niece who drowned) unless she went back to church and put her life back together..how many nights did she here my father's voice before she thought that she had just failed? It is not that any religion can be blamed..but the conscious thoughts ingrained steers a future..in this case, that she would never. see. her. daughter. again.

With the latest suicide it was a repeat...a process where I can return, repent..and become ..somewhere they did not let this progression take place..and sure..both parties are to blame..one for not extending an arm of patience..and the other..just giving up.

This woman and my sister are my heart..my best friends..I cannot see where the light went out or why..so I think I missed something..again. :cry: I have tried to find help before here in the valley..everyone is LDS..maybe this shouldn't matter?

To me, the Temple was the worst thing she could do...to relive covenants that have been broken..to a realization that the man she loved and promised was no longer at the alter...and that God's love and Jesus Christ..we conditional in their love. The LDS was the worse thing for this woman..at least at tis time and place and space in her life.
_Maksutov
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Re: Celestial...Give Me Some Answers. Another Mormon Suicide

Post by _Maksutov »

Not only LDS people are dying. It is increasing throughout the USA. I'm not sure of any comparable trends in other countries. Maybe someone has that data?
"God" is the original deus ex machina. --Maksutov
_mikegriffith1
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Re: Celestial...Give Me Some Answers. Another Mormon Suicide

Post by _mikegriffith1 »

You can only control what you do. If you worry excessively about other people's choices, you will only harm yourself in the process.
Mike Griffith
LDS Information Web Page
http://ldsinfo.miketgriffith.com/
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