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 Post subject: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 6:51 pm 
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This was really meant for another message board, but I do not wish to get myself banned for encroaching on the moderator’s grace of letting me post there. I know this is the common term all Mormons use to describe their loss of faith, but it grates on me. Sort of like hearing a tipsy Robin Leach continually saying Wacko Jacko when talking about Michael Jackson. It gets old to continually use the same expression when the language is open to so many other word combinations.

Unhinged door
Fallen chandelier
Sprung trunk
Unwound clock
Herniated abdominal wall
Depreciated Franklin mint coin
Lost faith
Ripped seam
Blown tire
Road kill

So I wasn't offering these alternatives to test the moderator’s patience, but rather as an exercise in putting that old zing back into the language of describing what happens when you experience the loss of religious innocence.

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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 4:58 pm 
Area Authority
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Baggage bursting at the seams:
Image

Overpacked balancing trick:
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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 5:08 pm 
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moksha wrote:
This was really meant for another message board, but I do not wish to get myself banned for encroaching on the moderator’s grace of letting me post there. I know this is the common term all Mormons use to describe their loss of faith, but it grates on me. Sort of like hearing a tipsy Robin Leach continually saying Wacko Jacko when talking about Michael Jackson. It gets old to continually use the same expression when the language is open to so many other word combinations.

Unhinged door
Fallen chandelier
Sprung trunk
Unwound clock
Herniated abdominal wall
Depreciated Franklin mint coin
Lost faith
Ripped seam
Blown tire
Road kill

So I wasn't offering these alternatives to test the moderator’s patience, but rather as an exercise in putting that old zing back into the language of describing what happens when you experience the loss of religious innocence.


"Herniated abdominal wall" is definitely my favorite! But, that's just me. Love them medical terms. May I also suggest "ruptured cerebral aneurysm".

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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Fri Sep 11, 2015 1:34 pm 
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"under the bus"

Was there any pres/apostle remained on the upper deck?

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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Fri Sep 11, 2015 11:11 pm 
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moksha wrote:
Sort of like hearing a tipsy Robin Leach continually saying Wacko Jacko when talking about Michael Jackson.


The imagery is so vivid! The alternative terminology is refreshing, and I especially like "Depreciated Franklin mint coin".

Here are a few humble suggestions, with Mormon-themed vocabulary:

Gone Rigdon
Cracked Spectacles
Ether's Cave-in
Fourteen Fundamentals Fatigue
Tripped By My Own Lengthened Stride


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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Sun Sep 13, 2015 12:10 pm 
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moksha wrote:
Unhinged door
Fallen chandelier
Sprung trunk
Unwound clock
Herniated abdominal wall
Depreciated Franklin mint coin
Lost faith
Ripped seam
Blown tire
Road kill

If you have a doubt that you can't resolve, how do you put it on a door? Do people typically store things on a chandelier? Do they put things on a clock? If something must be dealt with later, do people put it behind an abdominal wall?

This is the reason why "shelf" works far better than anything you listed. It's the usual place where people put things away for later retrieval, and the thing that breaks when the weight of too many such things exceeds its load-bearing capacity.

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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Sun Sep 13, 2015 4:15 pm 
CTR A
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moksha wrote:
Unhinged door
Fallen chandelier
Sprung trunk
Unwound clock
Herniated abdominal wall
Depreciated Franklin mint coin
Lost faith
Ripped seam
Blown tire
Road kill


Dr. Shades wrote:
If you have a doubt that you can't resolve, how do you put it on a door? Do people typically store things on a chandelier? Do they put things on a clock? If something must be dealt with later, do people put it behind an abdominal wall?

This is the reason why "shelf" works far better than anything you listed. It's the usual place where people put things away for later retrieval, and the thing that breaks when the weight of too many such things exceeds its load-bearing capacity.


Easy. One might put too many things behind a door, add extra candles to a chandelier, wind a clock too tightly and bust the mainspring, or swallow too much garbage and explode a colon.

They're humorous analogies.

You know, like, "He's not playing with a full deck." But on second thought, you're right: we shouldn't use that phrase, either. After all, how many people have an incomplete deck of cards jammed into their heads?


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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Sun Sep 13, 2015 4:18 pm 
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Dr. Shades wrote:
If you have a doubt that you can't resolve, how do you put it on a door? Do people typically store things on a chandelier? Do they put things on a clock? If something must be dealt with later, do people put it behind an abdominal wall?

This is the reason why "shelf" works far better than anything you listed. It's the usual place where people put things away for later retrieval, and the thing that breaks when the weight of too many such things exceeds its load-bearing capacity.


Shades, the ginger has been posting lately, don't you have more important things to do?


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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Wed Sep 16, 2015 8:30 pm 
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RockSlider wrote:
Shades, the ginger has been posting lately, don't you have more important things to do?

Implying what?

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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Sat Oct 17, 2015 9:27 pm 
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How about Hang it on the treadmill.

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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:42 pm 
God
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Dr. Shades wrote:
moksha wrote:
Unhinged door
Fallen chandelier
Sprung trunk
Unwound clock
Herniated abdominal wall
Depreciated Franklin mint coin
Lost faith
Ripped seam
Blown tire
Road kill

If you have a doubt that you can't resolve, how do you put it on a door? Do people typically store things on a chandelier? Do they put things on a clock? If something must be dealt with later, do people put it behind an abdominal wall?

This is the reason why "shelf" works far better than anything you listed. It's the usual place where people put things away for later retrieval, and the thing that breaks when the weight of too many such things exceeds its load-bearing capacity.


I agree with Shades. I was actually about to post the same thing before I read this. :smile:

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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2015 6:06 am 
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Jesse Pinkman wrote:
I agree with Shades. I was actually about to post the same thing before I read this. :smile:

Liz, you have every right to continue talking about your broken shelf rather than your blown tire. You would never put too much air into anything. :smile:

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 Post subject: Store Unit!
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2017 8:36 pm 
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Storage unit!

You rent a place no one knows about. You put all the ____ you don't want around your family in there. You start out with a 5 x 5 and it only costs you a bit every month. But then you find out more horsecrap and you have to get a bigger unit. So it's a 5 x 10. Aaaaaah. Done. We'll just lock that up, and keep it away from everyone.

But. You discover more stuff. Mother ____! There's MORE stuff? I have to get a bigger unit! Time for a 10 x 10. Now it's starting to affect your bottom line and your spouse wonders where you're running off to all the time, and why is there a charge for $100/month to your bank account? What's going on, honey? NOTHING. I'm FINE. Don't worry about it. It's just a thing, sweetie, but I'm dealing with. Your spouse is worried about you. You seem so secretive lately, and you've changed a bit. What's going on?

More stuff? WHAT THE MOTHER ____ ER? WHERE IS ALL THIS STUFF COMING FROM? Wait. DID I JUST SEE MY BROTHER LOAD SOME ____ INTO A STORAGE UNIT? ARE THERE OTHERS? I gotta upgrade to 10 x 20 because there's no way I'm going to fill up a 10 x 20. It's $200 month? How am I going to explain this to my spouse? Maybe there's room in the unit for her stuff, too?

Welp.

I just filled up a 10 x 30 and there aren't any bigger units. I gotta figure this out. It's costing me too much. It's taking up too much space in my life. I wonder how many units I can afford before I'm forced to make make a choice between hoarding a bunch of ____ I don't need, or freeing myself from the all the baggage costing me so much every month.

Oh. Btw, my wife just rented a 5 x 5!

- Doc

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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 12:55 am 
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How about "If I shut mind mind down any further, heart and lung function will stop."

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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 9:00 am 
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spotlight wrote:
How about "If I shut mind mind down any further, heart and lung function will stop."


True believers don't believe in death. You can't appeal to existential logic. :confused: This is a highly developed system of mind****.

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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Fri Feb 10, 2017 1:16 am 
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Split Sphincter Syndrome

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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:36 pm 
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Broken.


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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 10:22 am 
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I have read the storage unit story above at least three times now. It has yet to fail to create enjoyment and a laugh.


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 Post subject: Re: Alternatives to "broken shelf" expression
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 10:37 am 
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Maksutov wrote:

True believers don't believe in death. You can't appeal to existential logic. :confused: This is a highly developed system of mind****.


We believe in death, just not in its permanents.
"For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive".
Corinthians 15:22


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