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 Post subject: Just One More: When did you break it to my wife that you mast...
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 3:36 pm 
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Not enough threads on this subject.

I would like to make note of the timing of my "coming out" to my wife.

March, 2008: my wife caught me um... releasing the pressure of sacred-procreative-power build-up one morning. She called me at work later that morning, extremely concerned and asked about it. I confessed that it did indeed happen. She asked how often it happens and I mumbled something to indicate that it is very, very, extremely rare. She indicated her concern about my worthiness to continue in my calling. I was mortified. She also asked me if I had a porn problem, to which I answered a resounding no.

December, 2009: I lose my testimony of the LDS truth claims. my wife and I talk every night about it all. We begin talking about the high levels of guilt we lived with growing up.

March, 2010: I confess to my wife the true extent of my episodes of release from sacred-procreative-power build-up, all the way from my early teens to that moment. She finally understood and knew me for the first time in all the years we had been married. my wife asks her sis if sis's hubby ever did it. Sis responds with, "Never!"

Funny how this was all timed. my wife and I feel more open about each other and have a healthier relationship. All this happed to precipitate at the very moment I lost my testimonkey in things LDS.

I'm curious - when, if ever, did you open up about this subject to your spouse?

Thanks,

Zee.

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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 3:42 pm 
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Gosh, zee. Here is a hug. ((((hug))))

The H and I discussed this shortly after we married, iirc. Of course, it was all set in past tense. Marriage relieved us of the sin.

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Last edited by just me on Wed Dec 21, 2011 3:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 3:42 pm 
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I knew sin was at the heart of your decision to leave the church.

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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:09 pm 
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We confided to each other our "struggle" with the "sin" prior to getting married. It was such a great comfort to know that she had had all the same self-loathing and guilt that I had growing up. We cried on each others shoulders over the issue. Now we look back in retrospect with anger that we ever felt guilty about it.


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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:18 pm 
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zeezrom wrote:
Not enough threads on this subject.

I would like to make note of the timing of my "coming out" to Dear Wife.

March, 2008: Dear Wife caught me um... releasing the pressure of sacred-procreative-power build-up one morning. She called me at work later that morning, extremely concerned and asked about it. I confessed that it did indeed happen. She asked how often it happens and I mumbled something to indicate that it is very, very, extremely rare. She indicated her concern about my worthiness to continue in my calling. I was mortified. She also asked me if I had a porn problem, to which I answered a resounding no.

December, 2009: I lose my testimony of the LDS truth claims. Dear Wife and I talk every night about it all. We begin talking about the high levels of guilt we lived with growing up.

March, 2010: I confess to Dear Wife the true extent of my episodes of release from sacred-procreative-power build-up, all the way from my early teens to that moment. She finally understood and knew me for the first time in all the years we had been married. Dear Wife asks her sis if sis's hubby ever did it. Sis responds with, "Never!"

Funny how this was all timed. Dear Wife and I feel more open about each other and have a healthier relationship. All this happed to precipitate at the very moment I lost my testimonkey in things LDS.

I'm curious - when, if ever, did you open up about this subject to your spouse?

Thanks,

Zee.


I think that the point is: many women would not like their husband masturbating. It reflects on their own sexuality. And lets face, if you masturbated and then suddenly wife felt the itch, could you do it all over again? Maybe not, especially as one gets older. The best way to do this is to have the wife doing the masturbating. It is much more enjoyable as long as it doesn't get out of hand.

One more thing: Since the hand has a different grip than the vagina, a guy who masturbates may find it difficult to achieve climax when inside the woman.

Also, zee, when you were masturbating, just what or who were you thinking about? If you were thinking of another fantasy woman, no woman would appreciate it.

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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:20 pm 
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Zelder wrote:
We confided to each other our "struggle" with the "sin" prior to getting married. It was such a great comfort to know that she had had all the same self-loathing and guilt that I had growing up. We cried on each others shoulders over the issue. Now we look back in retrospect with anger that we ever felt guilty about it.


So, now when you masturbate do you think about your wife as your source for the fantasy and does she think about you? Or is their a third party?

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We are “to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to provide for the widow, to dry up the tear of the orphan, to comfort the afflicted, whether in this church, or in any other, or in no church at all…”
Joseph Smith


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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:21 pm 
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just me wrote:
Gosh, zee. Here is a hug. ((((hug))))

The H and I discussed this shortly after we married, iirc. Of course, it was all set in past tense. Marriage relieved us of the sin.


Are you sure? How would you feel if you caught your husband masturbating? Would you be hurt?

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I intend to lay a foundation that will revolutionize the whole world.
Joseph Smith


We are “to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to provide for the widow, to dry up the tear of the orphan, to comfort the afflicted, whether in this church, or in any other, or in no church at all…”
Joseph Smith


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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:23 pm 
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Oh my god. I am seriously so creeped out right now.

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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:27 pm 
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Why Me should be banned from discussing sexuality on this site. He just ramps up the creep factor immeasurably.

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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:28 pm 
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why me wrote:
Are you sure? How would you feel if you caught your husband masturbating? Would you be hurt?

How does your wife feel about the many girls you ejaculated on while you were dating? Is it a source of pain for her? When she sees light cotton fabric at the store, does she feel a twinge of sorrow and latent jealousy?

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Parley P. Pratt wrote:
We must lie to support brother Joseph, it is our duty to do so.

B.R. McConkie, © Intellectual Reserve wrote:
There are those who say that revealed religion and organic evolution can be harmonized. This is both false and devilish.


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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:30 pm 
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just me wrote:
Oh my god. I am seriously so creeped out right now.

Really? I suppose you don't know just how harmful it is for a marriage. It really shouldn't creep you out at all. Here is the point: when men masturbate they usually need something to stimulate them. If they are married, this stimulation may take the form of someone else besides the wife. See the point?

So breaking the news to the wife may usually get a response: what were you thinking about when you were masturbating? And heaven forbid if it was a hot blond that he saw on the beach.

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I intend to lay a foundation that will revolutionize the whole world.
Joseph Smith


We are “to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to provide for the widow, to dry up the tear of the orphan, to comfort the afflicted, whether in this church, or in any other, or in no church at all…”
Joseph Smith


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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:31 pm 
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For some reason, I've had this song stuck in my head for the last half-hour or so:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ks_bamhVbhU

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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:31 pm 
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why me wrote:
Zelder wrote:
We confided to each other our "struggle" with the "sin" prior to getting married. It was such a great comfort to know that she had had all the same self-loathing and guilt that I had growing up. We cried on each others shoulders over the issue. Now we look back in retrospect with anger that we ever felt guilty about it.


So, now when you masturbate do you think about your wife as your source for the fantasy and does she think about you? Or is their a third party?


She does not care who I think about. If fact one of her favourite fantasies is to think about me with another woman. It's a very common and normal fantasy for both men and women to think about sharing their spouse. She thinks about other people too. So what? We love each other and I would never cheat and she would never cheat. We're not swingers either. Between the two of us, I'm the one that is more jealous but I've learned that it's silly to be jealous becasue I trust her and she loves me. We're all attracted to a variety of people. It's completely normal, which is why I don't have too much of a problem with Joseph Smiths' plural marriages.

by the way: I don't masturbate anymore. All my sexual energy is focused on my wife.


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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:32 pm 
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just me wrote:
Oh my god. I am seriously so creeped out right now.

Just so you know, why me is a serious creep. I am pretty sure he gets off sexually by being this creepy and disgusting. He's probably typing with one hand.

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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:35 pm 
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Buffalo wrote:
Why Me should be banned from discussing sexuality on this site. He just ramps up the creep factor immeasurably.


I just bring reality into the thread. All found zee to be very brave and he was. It could have ended much more badly with the question directed at him: honey, what were you thinking about when you masturbated?

How to answer that question? Most women would not believe the why you darling answer. Men are always having a fantasy when they masturbate. And most wives would want to be a part of that fantasy and be active in it personally. It is a no win situation for the guy who is married and masturbating.

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Joseph Smith


We are “to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to provide for the widow, to dry up the tear of the orphan, to comfort the afflicted, whether in this church, or in any other, or in no church at all…”
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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:38 pm 
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why me wrote:
Men are always having a fantasy when they masturbate. And most wives would want to be a part of that fantasy and be active in it personally. It is a no win situation for the guy who is married and masturbating.

For Gods sake all women are having a fantasy when they masturbate too! What the hell is wrong with you?

edit: The only thing I can figure here is that the church succeeded in suppressing your wife's sexuality and she is a prude who never has orgasms. Now you live in a neurotic and insecure marriage.


Last edited by Zelder on Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:40 pm 
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Runtu wrote:
just me wrote:
Oh my god. I am seriously so creeped out right now.


Just so you know, why me is a serious creep. I am pretty sure he gets off sexually by being this creepy and disgusting. He's probably typing with one hand.


+1, I wouldn't be surprised at all.

_________________
Parley P. Pratt wrote:
We must lie to support brother Joseph, it is our duty to do so.

B.R. McConkie, © Intellectual Reserve wrote:
There are those who say that revealed religion and organic evolution can be harmonized. This is both false and devilish.


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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:41 pm 
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why me wrote:
Buffalo wrote:
Why Me should be banned from discussing sexuality on this site. He just ramps up the creep factor immeasurably.


I just bring reality into the thread. All found zee to be very brave and he was. It could have ended much more badly with the question directed at him: honey, what were you thinking about when you masturbated?


What you bring into the thread is heavy breathing and creepiness.

If you're in a healthy relationship, fantasies won't make anyone jealous.

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Parley P. Pratt wrote:
We must lie to support brother Joseph, it is our duty to do so.

B.R. McConkie, © Intellectual Reserve wrote:
There are those who say that revealed religion and organic evolution can be harmonized. This is both false and devilish.


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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:00 pm 
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Runtu wrote:

Just so you know, why me is a serious creep. I am pretty sure he gets off sexually by being this creepy and disgusting. He's probably typing with one hand.


Of course just me avoided answering the question just how she would feel if she caught her husband masturbating.

http://peele.net/faq/masturbate.html

http://www.oprah.com/own-ask-oprahs-all ... ddiction/5

It is certainly up for discussion out there in the public. However doctor oz did not address the fantasy behind the act. How do most people feel if their spouse is having a fantasy about a third person? I am sure that it would not be good or positive in responses from the other spouse.

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I intend to lay a foundation that will revolutionize the whole world.
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We are “to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to provide for the widow, to dry up the tear of the orphan, to comfort the afflicted, whether in this church, or in any other, or in no church at all…”
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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:03 pm 
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Zelder wrote:

edit: The only thing I can figure here is that the church succeeded in suppressing your wife's sexuality and she is a prude who never has orgasms. Now you live in a neurotic and insecure marriage.


So, your wife would not mind you having a masturbation fantasy of the brunette you saw on the street? And you wouldn't mind her having a masturbation fantasy about the sexy waiter that waited on you both?

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I intend to lay a foundation that will revolutionize the whole world.
Joseph Smith


We are “to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to provide for the widow, to dry up the tear of the orphan, to comfort the afflicted, whether in this church, or in any other, or in no church at all…”
Joseph Smith


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 Post subject: Re: Just One More: When did you break it to Dear Wife that y
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:05 pm 
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Buffalo wrote:

If you're in a healthy relationship, fantasies won't make anyone jealous.


Maybe. But have you asked your wife how she would feel? I think that some women would consider it to be cheating. Sort of like online sex in a chatroom.

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I intend to lay a foundation that will revolutionize the whole world.
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We are “to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to provide for the widow, to dry up the tear of the orphan, to comfort the afflicted, whether in this church, or in any other, or in no church at all…”
Joseph Smith


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