f*** the Mormon church

Bad night, Zee?

If you really feel this bad about going to Church, isn't there a way to discuss this with your wife? I thought you guys were a united front when you left. What changed her mind?

Horrible 3 hours. It was just the *worst* ever.

I apologize to Mormons. I really love you. Especially the nice guy who sat next to me in SS and fell asleep.

Church really sucked today.

They are not the Zeezrom United Front...
...they are the United Front of Zeezrom.
(with thanks to the Life of Brian...)

Zeezrom, I entertain myself for the three hours by looking for opportunities to make little humourous quips about the lack of sense or truth in some of the talks or lessons.

Childish I know, but it get's me through.

Time to buy an I-Pad and pretend to use it for scriptures. I played many games of risk and angry birds while the family unit was bored listening to a missionary report after returning home.

This.

(But turn the sound down first otherwise it distracts the speakers....)

I check the threehourboredom two or three times a year.

It always make my conviction stronger: to not join was a good choice.

This is what I bribe my 8 year old with. He uses my iPad with the sound down to play games, or I let him use my headset to watch a movie. He also comes behind the piano during Sharing Time in primary and plays my iPad. He has his own little corner back there. I bring snacks, too. LOL

ZEE...continue to tune in for survival techniques for Church! LOL

Hey, maybe I will do a thread about this in Terrestrial in your honor, Zee.

sketch book?

Books, books, books.

Think of all the fine reading you could get done!

This does provide me some hope. I replaced my Book of Mormon with a copy of Paradise Lost in my scripture purse. I really just like the cover art. The poem is a little too heavy for Church distraction. I started sketching my interpretation of the cover art and found some enjoyment there.

After about 20 minutes, the blank walls, droning hymns, and tired looks around me totally disabled my ability to maintain an imaginative presence of mind. It was like I had been drugged or something. Memories of my sleeping during Sacrament and class came back to me again. I had forgotten how much I slept during church! Maybe this is how I missed the story of Fanny Alger! I was sleeping during the history talk!

Next time, I will try really hard to get into my little "family comfort space". That is a bubble you create around your family, in which the grass is green, the sun blasts through stained glass, and lilies wave in the breezes.

Doubtful. Unless I was sleeping, too, I have never, during my entire membership in Church, ever heard Fanny Alger mentioned during a Church meeting.

During a Priesthood lesson from the Joseph Smith manual there was a quote from his wife. I stuck my hand up.
"Yes Drifting?"
"Which wife?"
The teacher looked annoyed, stated it wasn't a valid question pertinent to the lesson and moved on. I noticed a number of shoulders silently 'rocking' amongst the other attendee's.

Damn, Drifting! I wish I could have been a fly on that wall! It is a pity we are not in the same ward. Our spouses would probably kill us!

You don't know that we're not...
Oh...hang on...I'm in Blighty and you're not...kind of spoils that little subterfuge.

Yeah...but if you relocate to the South, come to the High Point Ward. LOL

I lived in the South for a number of years (and will again at some point) but don't recall High Point, narrow that down for me...