Missionaries will be "boys"!

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_kairos
_Emeritus
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Missionaries will be "boys"!

Post by _kairos »

At a fake stake conference here this past sunday in gilbert az, area authority told story of when he was mish prez in washington state a year or so ago. he held zone and other conferences in the chapel- not good said he!
the amount of food from subway and kentucky fried chicken etc was enough to fill 12 baskets after every conference and the number of photos taken during transfers seemed akin to Disneyland family days. He could not stop it no matter what he tried- food everywhere, paper wrappings and crumbs made him and his dear wife SICK and they could not find the answer no matter how strongly he said he had his assistants plead before, during and after a conference. he even said he felt so bad he and dear wife and assts would vacuum the place after the conference was over.

Well the first problem is he had no balls to stand up HIMSELF and tell the mishs he would cut the "n#ts" off the next guy he found with a wad of food in his mouth or backpack and he would make the guy chew and swallow all 566 pages of the Book of Mormon in front of the group if he caught them.

So he decided on the spiritual solution- have his wife plead that the chapel was holy and holy ordinances were held there like sacrament and baby blessings and special mish departures and returns.
Oh, how the HS worked and nary a cheerio was found after her plea!

what a pussy this guy is!

by the way as mish did you hunger and thirst in zone conferences and what did you do to ease the hunger?

just askin
k
_Sethbag
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Re: Missionaries will be "boys"!

Post by _Sethbag »

Well, it's stupid that missionaries can't seem to understand without being told that it's improper to leave their food wrappers lying around the chapel. As far as food being necessary, though, at least in my mission a mission conference or sometimes a zone conference was held quite far from my areas, and would at times require two or three hours each way of travel to get there. It was an all-day affair, in other words, and people gotta eat, so naturally we'd get some food at some point.

I see the missionaries as litterbugs as the problem, not missionaries as folks who just wanted lunch during their all-day cult gatherings.
Mormonism ceased being a compelling topic for me when I finally came to terms with its transformation from a personality cult into a combination of a real estate company, a SuperPac, and Westboro Baptist Church. - Kishkumen
_kairos
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Re: Missionaries will be "boys"!

Post by _kairos »

Sethbag wrote:Well, it's stupid that missionaries can't seem to understand without being told that it's improper to leave their food wrappers lying around the chapel. As far as food being necessary, though, at least in my mission a mission conference or sometimes a zone conference was held quite far from my areas, and would at times require two or three hours each way of travel to get there. It was an all-day affair, in other words, and people gotta eat, so naturally we'd get some food at some point.

I see the missionaries as litterbugs as the problem, not missionaries as folks who just wanted lunch during their all-day cult gatherings.


good points- i never thought about the mishs being held hostage for hours without food-boys really do gotta eat! maybe they needed smoky the bear to rip into the litterers! :eek:
_Dr. Shades
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Re: Missionaries will be "boys"!

Post by _Dr. Shades »

kairos wrote:maybe they needed smoky the bear to rip into the litterers! :eek:

Smokey the Bear's purview is forest fires, not littering.
"Finally, for your rather strange idea that miracles are somehow linked to the amount of gay sexual gratification that is taking place would require that primitive Christianity was launched by gay sex, would it not?"

--Louis Midgley
_Doctor CamNC4Me
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Re: Missionaries will be "boys"!

Post by _Doctor CamNC4Me »

Dr. Shades wrote:
kairos wrote:maybe they needed smoky the bear to rip into the litterers! :eek:

Smokey the Bear's purview is forest fires, not littering.


Wasn't it the owl that focused on littering? I remember the Give a Hoot, Don't Pollute thing when I was a kid.

- Doc

eta: I really need to do a Google search before pressing Enter:

https://www.google.com/search?q=give+a+ ... sQ_AUICCgD
In the face of madness, rationality has no power - Xiao Wang, US historiographer, 2287 AD.

Every record...falsified, every book rewritten...every statue...has been renamed or torn down, every date...altered...the process is continuing...minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Ideology is always right.
_Sethbag
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Re: Missionaries will be "boys"!

Post by _Sethbag »

Doctor CamNC4Me wrote:
Dr. Shades wrote:kairos wrote: "maybe they needed smoky the bear to rip into the litterers! :eek:"
Smokey the Bear's purview is forest fires, not littering.


Wasn't it the owl that focused on littering? I remember the Give a Hoot, Don't Pollute thing when I was a kid.

- Doc

eta: I really need to do a Google search before pressing Enter:

https://www.google.com/search?q=give+a+ ... sQ_AUICCgD

Don't forget the crying Indian Italian who was so saddened by the pollution and litter he saw happening to his native adoptive land.
Mormonism ceased being a compelling topic for me when I finally came to terms with its transformation from a personality cult into a combination of a real estate company, a SuperPac, and Westboro Baptist Church. - Kishkumen
_kairos
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Re: Missionaries will be "boys"!

Post by _kairos »

Dr. Shades wrote:
kairos wrote:maybe they needed smoky the bear to rip into the litterers! :eek:

Smokey the Bear's purview is forest fires, not littering.


You guys are a tough crowd! :evil:

Ok- arsonists, litterers,polluters, mishs could be all of those but my point was that big Smokey would come into the chapel and scare the hell out of the missionaries so they would not eat peanut butter and honey sandwiches in the chapel and squish the insides of the sandwich in the bench seats or carpets! The taffy pulling owl or any other mascot for cleaning the environment will simply not do to scare the living s*** out of the slovenly mishs. In fact they might try to covert the owl if tracting is slow.

just laugin as i write this !
k
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