I just had a visitation from Boyd K. Packard

[_Polygamy-Porter]

He says, besides that its all BS, that Joseph Smith is a total asshole. Apparently Joseph Smith is upset that Boyd did not want people to talk too much TRUTH about Joseph Smith and his ways with the young girls...

Boyd says his own biggest regret was not masturbating more.

[_Some Schmo]

So, instead of a visit from an angel with a flaming sword, you got a little old guy with frozen balls?

Did he threaten you into drinking more IPAs?

[_Polygamy-Porter]

So, instead of a visit from an angel with a flaming sword, you got a little old guy with frozen balls?

Did he threaten you into drinking more IPAs?

Nope!

Couple shots of Bacardi 151 and Cole(a.k.a. Mormon coffee)

Yes, the Spirit(s) from that bottle are strong! I can feel it in every fiber of my being.

[_Some Schmo]

Nope!

Couple shots of Bacardi 151 and Cole(a.k.a. Mormon coffee)

Yes, the Spirit(s) from that bottle are strong! I can feel it in every fiber of my being.

You can't really deny those words of wisdom.

[_Polygamy-Porter]

Nope!

Couple shots of Bacardi 151 and Cole(a.k.a. Mormon coffee)

Yes, the Spirit(s) from that bottle are strong! I can feel it in every fiber of my being.

You can't really deny those words of wisdom.

The beloved spirit of Willy Wonka visited us and told Boyd: "IPA is dandy, but liquor is quicker".

[_Boyd_K_Packer]

Nice try, buddy. I finally found a computer up here so I could check in with you guys. Spirit paradise is more beautiful than you can possibly imagine, but it's nothing like you would expect. The architecture is very gothic, with lots of gargoyles and bats. Nothing like the Mormon temples. I need to get a message to Tom so he can update the temple designs. I ran into Brigham Young here. Can you believe that? I now understand why you guys complain about him all the time. He is a mean jerk, but that's what the Lord needed during that difficult time for the church, so I accept that. I heard Joseph is here somewhere, but I haven't seen him yet. Probably too busy running errands for all his nagging wives, ha ha. Well, I gotta run. They only allow us 60 seconds of computer time per week. They are keeping us busy. I expected a management position when I got to heaven, but I understand with all the righteous Book of Mormon prophets, and all the prophets of the latter-day church, those positions are probably all taken. For now I have a job shoveling coal into a furnace. I don't know why. It's hotter than hell up here, but whatever the Lord needs, I will do. I assume it's to prepare us for the powerful rays of Kolob.

Anyway, gotta go.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Boyd K Packer

[_cwald]

Thank you President Packer, the REAL President Packer, for the update and clarification.