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 Post subject: Elder Holland: "Jesus Christ shaved off his beard."
PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 7:26 pm 
Master Mahan

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Quite an intriguing anecdote over on thefoyer.org:

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Just saw some of our Elder friends, the Assistant's to the President, took them out to dinner. I chatted with them about my chat with our ex-Stake Presidency counselor about how us LDS'rs are so much about conformity and obedience at the price of individuality, self expression or free thinking...and about how if Jesus showed up today with long hair and a beard how we couldn't give him a calling...

They said "We now have to wear a part in our hair. A General Authority recently visited our Mission President and said since the Apostles have parts in their hair, all missionaries have to have a part in their hair". I said "What?! Why?!". They said "Because when we go out we represent THEM". I clarified that they represented Jesus. They agreed and then added that THEY (the GA's) represent Jesus. Interesting.

Then one Elder said to me "When I was in the MTC about a year ago, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland invited us to ask questions. One Elder said: 'why do we need to have short hair and shave every day if Jesus had long hair and a beard'. This got the entire congregation of new Elders quite agitated as they too wanted to know. Elder Holland then said "Not when I saw him last did he have long hair or a beard". This got the Elders to settle down".


Very interesting! I guess that sometime after his visit to the Americas, the Lord decided to change up his appearance a bit. I wonder: does the Savior's new hairstyle resemble Elder Monson's?


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 7:33 pm 
He-Who-Has-Not-Sinned (Recently)
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Maybe Jesus shaved his head to cover for the hereditary baldness that ran through his family.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 7:35 pm 
Master Mahan

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Bond...James Bond wrote:
Maybe Jesus shaved his head to cover for the hereditary baldness that ran through his family.


I guess this also settles the long-held question about whether the contemporary Brethren have actually seen Christ or not. At minimum, I guess Elder Holland has.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 7:39 pm 
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Mister Scratch wrote:
Bond...James Bond wrote:
Maybe Jesus shaved his head to cover for the hereditary baldness that ran through his family.


I guess this also settles the long-held question about whether the contemporary Brethren have actually seen Christ or not. At minimum, I guess Elder Holland has.


Hmph. Usually the party line is "it's such a sacred experience we can't discuss it" (with respect to whether the current brethren have seen Jesus) - then there's this FPR about Holland pulling out such a visitation ever so casually to support the requirement for short hair and no beards? Riiiiiight.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 7:44 pm 
He-Who-Has-Not-Sinned (Recently)
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Mister Scratch wrote:
Bond...James Bond wrote:
Maybe Jesus shaved his head to cover for the hereditary baldness that ran through his family.


I guess this also settles the long-held question about whether the contemporary Brethren have actually seen Christ or not. At minimum, I guess Elder Holland has.


That little anecdote thrown out to shutup the missionaries' question probably (like most religious BS) was never supposed to be heard by anyone except the converted. (Once again the Internet lands a traumatic blow to the the family jewels of religion.)

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Last edited by Bond...James Bond on Sun Nov 18, 2007 7:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 7:47 pm 
Master Mahan

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skippy the dead wrote:
Mister Scratch wrote:
Bond...James Bond wrote:
Maybe Jesus shaved his head to cover for the hereditary baldness that ran through his family.


I guess this also settles the long-held question about whether the contemporary Brethren have actually seen Christ or not. At minimum, I guess Elder Holland has.


Hmph. Usually the party line is "it's such a sacred experience we can't discuss it" (with respect to whether the current brethren have seen Jesus) - then there's this FPR about Holland pulling out such a visitation ever so casually to support the requirement for short hair and no beards? Riiiiiight.


Well, I, for one, was totally blown away by the thought of this. I am so used to the classic LDS depictions of Christ w/ beard and long flowing hair that to really ponder the implications of Elder Holland's remark is quite difficult. What would the Savior look like with his trademark locks and facial hair? It is truly mind-boggling.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 7:48 pm 
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Someone should have asked him about Satan's mode of hair fashion. The MTC presidents are constantly spotting the devil and his angels outside the MTC at night poised for battle, with the three Nephites or some manner of angelic presence preventing their entrance. Surely Elder Holland has not missed this most common of MTC urban legends!

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 7:51 pm 
Master Mahan

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Maxrep wrote:
Someone should have asked him about Satan's mode of hair fashion. The MTC presidents are constantly spotting the devil and his angels outside the MTC at night poised for battle, with the three Nephites or some manner of angelic presence preventing their entrance. Surely Elder Holland has not missed this most common of MTC urban legends!


Yeah, and you know, you would think that it would be Satan who would be sporting the long, "hippie" hair-do, rather than the Savior. He would no doubt be wearing multiple pairs of earrings as well.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:00 pm 
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So, is the earring limitation based on Mother in Heaven's sense of fashion?

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:04 pm 
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I had no idea until now what has caused all of you guys to go apostate. Now I know. You don't have a sense of humor. You can't tell when someone is joking.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:08 pm 
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charity wrote:
I had no idea until now what has caused all of you guys to go apostate. Now I know. You don't have a sense of humor. You can't tell when someone is joking.


Actually I think they went apostate because they have developed highly nuanced senses of humor which allow them to see that the whole thing is a farce.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:12 pm 
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Mister Scratch wrote:
Maxrep wrote:
Someone should have asked him about Satan's mode of hair fashion. The MTC presidents are constantly spotting the devil and his angels outside the MTC at night poised for battle, with the three Nephites or some manner of angelic presence preventing their entrance. Surely Elder Holland has not missed this most common of MTC urban legends!


Yeah, and you know, you would think that it would be Satan who would be sporting the long, "hippie" hair-do, rather than the Savior. He would no doubt be wearing multiple pairs of earrings as well.


..avoiding the very appearance of evil and all, right?

When Loren C. Dunn was mission president in the late 70's, he required all missionaries to have a hair part and only on the side. He called the one in the middle the "Wasach Split" and it was forbidden. Lots of lock step going on back then with the "Rainbows" (the verbatum discussions), and the "BD" (baptismal discussion - missionaries would literally bring people off the street to the chapel for a hammering/baptism "like the day of pentacost").


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:19 pm 
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charity wrote:
I had no idea until now what has caused all of you guys to go apostate. Now I know. You don't have a sense of humor. You can't tell when someone is joking.


Did the missionaries know it was a joke?


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:21 pm 
Master Mahan

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harmony wrote:
charity wrote:
I had no idea until now what has caused all of you guys to go apostate. Now I know. You don't have a sense of humor. You can't tell when someone is joking.


Did the missionaries know it was a joke?


LOL!!! Yeah, right. I'm sure they knew that, at base, how they wear their hair is *totally irrelevant*! In fact, I would imagine that we can expect Elders Smith and Jensen to be sporting mullets the next time we see them, and with the full approval of the Brethren to boot!


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:27 pm 
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The Dude wrote:
So, is the earring limitation based on Mother in Heaven's sense of fashion?


Recently, and I think you can find this on the news as well as youtube, a young man was video taped right after being struck by lightning. Quite interesting actually, but as he rose from the ground and opened his mouth, it was obvious that his tongue piercing had disintegrated.

Perhaps more than fashion, the earing limitation has more to do with meteorological safety.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 9:28 pm 
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harmony wrote:
charity wrote:
I had no idea until now what has caused all of you guys to go apostate. Now I know. You don't have a sense of humor. You can't tell when someone is joking.


Did the missionaries know it was a joke?


Even read as mere words on a screen, they're funny.

I think you guys/gals are entirely too unbending and rigid. That's what I am beginning to see a lot of in the ex-mp. anti and critic crowd.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:02 pm 
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:15 pm 
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While I've never heard of an Apostle sharing details of such an experience I've been in 4 meetings (with 3 Apostles) wherein the Apostle said they had had such an experience.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:28 pm 
Inconceivable wrote:
When Loren C. Dunn was mission president in the late 70's, he required all missionaries to have a hair part and only on the side. He called the one in the middle the "Wasach Split" and it was forbidden. Lots of lock step going on back then with the "Rainbows" (the verbatum discussions), and the "BD" (baptismal discussion - missionaries would literally bring people off the street to the chapel for a hammering/baptism "like the day of pentacost").


For which he was chastised. When Salt Lake City heard what was going on, they put a stop to it. I was Ward Mission Leader when Dunn was in Sydney, and also one who objected to his program. There were a few successes, but the majority baptised under this program never returned to the Church. It was a complete farce, and most members also thought so.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:28 pm 
God

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charity wrote:
harmony wrote:
charity wrote:
I had no idea until now what has caused all of you guys to go apostate. Now I know. You don't have a sense of humor. You can't tell when someone is joking.


Did the missionaries know it was a joke?


Even read as mere words on a screen, they're funny.

I think you guys/gals are entirely too unbending and rigid. That's what I am beginning to see a lot of in the ex-mp. anti and critic crowd.


I repeat my question: did the missionaries know it was a joke?


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:30 pm 
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that would cause some LDS artists to go into a catatonic state....they would need to repaint a lot of their work.

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