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 Post subject: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:22 am 
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http://www.ldsmag.com/article/1/14952

Good morning, folks.

The above link goes to another one of John Pratt’s articles published at Meridian Magazine. It’s about the fact that Mars testifies of patriarchs and priesthoods. This article isn’t buried beneath the bylines and whatnot; it’s the lead article of the day at Meridian. Wow…

Mars? The Red Planet? An emphatic “Yes!” according to Pratt, who has devised a sacred Martian calendar that he claims precisely predict(ed) key events such as the dedication of the Salt Lake Temple, and the restoration of the Aaronic and Melchizedek priesthoods, and other important events.

One of the reasons that Pratt claims his sacred Martian calendar is true and of God is that the life of the ancient John the Baptist was an “exact number of Martian cycles”, or 780 days. As usual, Pratt attempts to describe the particulars of his calendar in Rube-Goldberg Machine fashion. I won’t attempt to digest it here because, well, frankly his article is almost unreadable.

But here are a few key events that perfectly correspond to key dates of Pratt’s Martian calendar:

1. Births and deaths of many of the wives of the ancient patriarchs;
2. Birth and death of John the Baptist;
3. Restoration of the Aaronic and Melchizedek priesthoods through Jos. Smith and Oliver Cowdery (Interestingly, Pratt’s sacred Martian calendar is able to pinpoint the exact Gregorian calendar date on which the Melchizedek Priesthood was restored. The fact that neither Joseph nor Oliver left any record of a precise date no longer matters, nor does the traditional anachronistic account given years later by Addison Everett matter. Pratt has elucidated, through his Martian calendar, that the restoration of the Melchizedek Priesthood occurred just before 6:00 a.m. on Sunday, May 31, 1829. I imagine that the Correlation Department will be putting that detail into future curricula material revisions.);
4. Dedication of Solomon’s ancient temple;
5. Dedication of the Salt Lake Temple in 1893;
6. Certain key events from the life of Jesus, including the escape of his family from King Herod into Egypt, the transfiguration, the resurrection, etc.

Perhaps most telling of all is that among the 12 footnotes appended to Pratt’s article, nine of them are citations to Pratt’s earlier, groundbreaking papers such as “Venus and the Beginning of Mortality”; “Uniform Enoch Calendar Witnesses Religious History”; “Jubilee Calendar Testifies of Christ”, and “My Cat Can Eat a Whole Watermelon”.

Either Pratt is the most incredible astronomer in the last 4,000 years, or he’s simply putting a new twist on religious paredolia. Most likely, in all seriousness, Pratt will be engaging in an eternal “See, I told you so,” to the rest of us.

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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:41 am 
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Birth dates of the wives of the patriarchs? Where did he get those from to test against?

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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 11:18 am 
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Everybody Wang Chung wrote:
“My Cat Can Eat a Whole Watermelon”.

That is one remarkable cat.


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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 11:30 am 
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canpakes wrote:
Everybody Wang Chung wrote:
“My Cat Can Eat a Whole Watermelon”.

That is one remarkable cat.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXRXgzMWsN8

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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 11:37 am 
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I can haz watermelon


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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 11:37 am 
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I think Abraham might have covered some of this on one of his papyri scrolls.


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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 12:47 pm 
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I am waiting for "Uranus testifies of Jesus".

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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 12:47 am 
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SteelHead wrote:
I am waiting for "Uranus testifies of Jesus".


As I learned here before - this site is a cornucopia - Uranus sounds identical to 'your anus' in English.
Non native Englishes can not learn it from a dictionary ...

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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 5:48 am 
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SteelHead wrote:
I am waiting for "Uranus testifies of Jesus".

The Planet Uranus Testifies of Christ.

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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 5:51 am 
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Good old malkie. Beat me to the punch.


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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 6:02 am 
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malkie wrote:
SteelHead wrote:
I am waiting for "Uranus testifies of Jesus".

The Planet Uranus Testifies of Christ.


Man I thought you all were yankin' one of my three legs then I clicked on the link. This guy is a nut case and all his footnotes and quotes are his. I hope he has his second anointing. A candidate for Nightlion's first counselor or verse vicea.

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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 6:11 am 
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You know..... I am distantly related to this guy by marriage...................


Sigh.


crazy thing is he has math & physics degrees and a Ph.D. in astronomy.

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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 6:35 am 
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Kishkumen wrote:
Good old malkie. Beat me to the punch.

You need to think about getting up earlier in the morning, K-man :smile:

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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:07 am 
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"The Planet Uranus Testifies of Christ" is actually an improvement over that article's original title, which was simply "Uranus testifies of Christ." Not kidding. I guess Dr. Pratt received some helpful suggestions from his friends after he initially published it.

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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:12 am 
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I read the how did fish survive the flood article from his web site. Then I cried.

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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:35 am 
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From the comments....

Quote:
Dear brother Pratt, How Would the Fibonacci numbers fit into the your planetary orbits? With Fibonacci, the planets keep their distances..

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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 8:49 am 
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SteelHead wrote:
I read the how did fish survive the flood article from his web site. Then I cried.


Please link that, I would love to read it.

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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 8:59 am 
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http://www.johnpratt.com/items/docs/LDS ... _fish.html

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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 9:01 am 
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You're a scholar and a gentleman.

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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 9:21 am 
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SteelHead wrote:
You know..... I am distantly related to this guy by marriage...................


Sigh.


crazy thing is he has math & physics degrees and a Ph.D. in astronomy.
You have my sympathy.
My TBM wife have math & physics degrees, but nuclear physics instead of astronomy. Same genre...

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- To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin. - Cardinal Bellarmine at the trial of Galilei


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 Post subject: Re: John Pratt: The Planet Mars Testifies of Patriarchs.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 2:12 pm 
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I can report that even calm criticism apparently from within the ranks of believing Mormondom will not be posted in the comments section.

Is it now assumed that superficially pro-LDS numerological thinking must be embraced by faithful LDS on pain of being accused of being an enemy of the church?

Perhaps this is just what Mormonism amounts to after all---wooly occult thinking. I guess Joseph Smith would have approved.

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