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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 3:07 pm 
God
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Quote:
21. Thou art numbered among the noble and great ones, who have dissembled and obfuscated for my name's sake, to such a degree as to cause even I, God, the greatest of all, to facepalm;


I believe.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 3:14 pm 
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Mormon Jesus wrote:
Revelation given to Mormon Discussions recorded 12 April 2012, relating to posting on the board. Although the revelation was recorded in 2012, it is evident that the principles involved in this revelation had been known since the days of ZLMB.


33. For the works of God are mysterious, and cannot be comprehended, as with mine holy mall, wherein at one edifice The Gym was placed right above The Cheesecake Factory, without hint of irony;


Dear MJ,

When I was designing the holy mail using an app on my I phone I thought it best to place my workout location next to my favorite restaurant..
When you get a minute I wonder if you could talk to Tommy about redacting the word emeritus from my title in the Church history records.

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 3:31 pm 
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Absolutely priceless.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 6:24 pm 
God

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6. I say unto The Mighty Builder, hast thou ought not better to do? Is there not sufficient labor in the vineyard? Or canst thou not turn thine excess of energies unto Angry Birds or something?
7. For it is expedient that thou should consider Angry Birds, even as thou are like unto them,
8. Verily, consider the birds of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them,
9. And how often would I have gathered you, even as a hen gathers her chickens under her wings,
10. Yea, for this cause do birds suddenly appear every time thou art near,
11. Even as I, so do they long to be close to thee.
12. Yet I, the Lord, appeared as an humble carpenter.

REALLY! Mormon Jesus is GAY! What happened to all this Mormon Jesus got him some Mary and Martha. Who knew that the Twelve Apostles were truly one with Mormon Jesus (if you know what I mean). Were they one with you one at a time or several at once?


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 6:46 pm 
God
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Mormon Jesus wrote:
26. Yea, thou must ignite the light and let it shine, and thou shalt own the night like unto the Fourth of July;
27. Wherefore, my son, thou art an firework;
28. Come forth and shew them what thou art worth, and then shall they say, Oh, oh, oh, as thou shootest across the firmament.

LOL!

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 6:53 pm 
God
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27. Come, my people, smile on thy brother, let all get together, and love one another right now,
28. Otherwise the blood of the young shall cry out unto me,
28. For ye are one in this board, and if ye are not one, ye are not mine,
29. And if ye are not mine, then shall I be very irritated.


:lol:

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 7:42 pm 
Stake High Council
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I'm curious as to why MJ has started revelating again? Does he know something I don't? Is it this Mayan/Jaradite calendar business? Should I start lookin to pick up a foreclosure in Adam-ondi-ahman?


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 11:25 pm 
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I think that really is the Mormon Jesus, and he's just created an account to troll the board and yank our chain.

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 11:33 pm 
God
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I'm disturbed, Chris, that you think the Mormon Jesus is a troll. That sounds like some fundie EV propaganda to me!

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From the Ernest L. Wilkinson Diaries: "ELW dreams he's spattered w/ grease. Hundreds steal his greasy pants."


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 3:21 am 
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Blixa wrote:
That sounds like some fundie EV propaganda to me!

Really? I thought he sounded kinda like Popeye the Sailor man. "Verily, I am what I am..."


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 7:33 am 
God
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Mormon Jesus wrote:
12. Even so shall it come to pass with the Mayan calendar, for I am the Lord, and thou mayest count on it;


OK now I believe.

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aka Pokatator joined Oct 26, 2006 and permanently banned from MAD Nov 6, 2006
"Stop being such a damned coward and use your real name to own your position."
"That's what he gets for posting in his own name."
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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 8:02 am 
God
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No, Tator.

Quote:
Re: You can count on it
Posted by Joe on February 25, 2009 at 18:28

In Reply to: You can count on it posted by Allen Archie on February 25, 2009 at 16:33:

: I was wondering about the origin of the phrase "You can count on it".

It is a French Idiom and Figurative Phrase

Vous pouvez y compter 'You can count on it'.

Common in the early to mid 1700's but only in French, British American usage early 1800's often in literature, and then often a French novel.

To locate origin will require French language skill.
http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/59/messages/763.html :smile:

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Huckelberry said:
I see the order and harmony to be the very image of God which smiles upon us each morning as we awake.

http://www.vatican.Virginia/archive/ccc_css/a ... cc_toc.htm


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 8:22 am 
God
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The best Jesus is Mormon Jesus.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 10:40 am 
God
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Corpsegrinder wrote:
Blixa wrote:
That sounds like some fundie EV propaganda to me!

Really? I thought he sounded kinda like Popeye the Sailor man. "Verily, I am what I am..."


Sorry I didn't make myself clear. I BELIEVE in Mormon Jesus. Chris's demurring sounded suspiciously like some kind of scurrilous Fundie smear!

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From the Ernest L. Wilkinson Diaries: "ELW dreams he's spattered w/ grease. Hundreds steal his greasy pants."


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 6:59 am 
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All hail Mormon Jesus! :lol:

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We must lie to support brother Joseph, it is our duty to do so.

B.R. McConkie, © Intellectual Reserve wrote:
There are those who say that revealed religion and organic evolution can be harmonized. This is both false and devilish.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 9:06 pm 
Stake High Council
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Mormon Jesus wrote:
Behold, I am Alpha and Omega; I have no end and no beginning. Marvel not that I say both of these things at once. Amen.


This is the line that convinced me with a surety that Mormon Jesus is not an impostor. Past imitation Jesus' have used this as a byline unaware of the conundrum. Mormon Jesus sees fit to now let us in on his little test.....It'll be on the questionnaire at the veil.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 1:02 am 
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Dearest Mormon Jesus,
Canst thou also remember that thy dinner of unleavened bread, goats cheese, and most tender minced lamb mixed with herbs and annonted with oil and many exceedingly delightful spices, has now been spread upon yonder table in thine house for well over an hour, and if thou doest not desist thy ramblings the said dinner shall surely lose its heat and go cold and thus be fit only for the proverbial dustbin. I admonish you as your loyal wife and companion therefore to desist in this frivolity on this message board and return home at great speed or thine dearest and most comfortable spare sandals and clothing will henceforth be found out on the streets of the village.

Your loving and longsuffering wife Mariamne.

Ps Judah your son is wanting to have a bed time story read to him.

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"It's a little like the Confederate Constitution guaranteeing the freedom to own slaves. Irony doesn't exist for bigots or fanatics." Maksutov


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 5:06 pm 
God
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Mormon Jesus wrote:
6. And to the inhabitants of this message board, behold and see that my anger is kindled against you.


Shouldn't it be "...mine anger is kindled..."

?

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Oh for shame, how the mortals put the blame on us gods, for they say evils come from us, but it is they, rather, who by their own recklessness win sorrow beyond what is given... Zeus (1178 BC)

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 5:10 pm 
God

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zeezrom wrote:
Mormon Jesus wrote:
6. And to the inhabitants of this message board, behold and see that my anger is kindled against you.


Shouldn't it be "...mine anger is kindled..."

?


You know where smark alecks go...?

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(Nevo, Jan 23) And the Melchizedek Priesthood may not have been restored until the summer of 1830, several months after the organization of the Church.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 5:13 pm 
CTR B
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Paul H Dunn wrote:
Mormon Jesus wrote:
Revelation given to Mormon Discussions recorded 12 April 2012, relating to posting on the board. Although the revelation was recorded in 2012, it is evident that the principles involved in this revelation had been known since the days of ZLMB.


33. For the works of God are mysterious, and cannot be comprehended, as with mine holy mall, wherein at one edifice The Gym was placed right above The Cheesecake Factory, without hint of irony;


Dear MJ,

When I was designing the holy mail using an app on my I phone I thought it best to place my workout location next to my favorite restaurant..
When you get a minute I wonder if you could talk to Tommy about redacting the word emeritus from my title in the Church history records.


Roflmao. While your around Brother Dunn do you think you could give me some baseball pointers


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 5:27 pm 
God
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Mormon Jesus,

Please help me find my car keys....

In your name, amen

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Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man. - The Dude

Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just god when he's drunk - Tom Waits


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