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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 3:04 pm 
God
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Jesus Christ. Can I get the clif notes version of that?

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 4:15 pm 
God
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just me wrote:
Jesus Christ. Can I get the clif notes version of that?
I think a few sections of the D&C would suffice. :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 4:28 pm 
God
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just me wrote:
Jesus Christ. Can I get the clif notes version of that?

That's what the summary at the beginning is for. :biggrin:

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 5:25 pm 
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CaliforniaKid wrote:
just me wrote:
Jesus Christ. Can I get the clif notes version of that?

That's what the summary at the beginning is for. :biggrin:


Doh :redface:

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 5:49 pm 
God
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Mormon Jesus wrote:
27. Verily, verily, I say unto you, that when I give a commandment to any of the sons of men to do a work unto my name, and those sons of men go with all their might and with all they have to perform that work, and cease not their adiligence, and their enemies come upon them and bhinder them from performing that work, behold, it behooveth me to require that work no more at the hands of those sons of men, but to accept of their offerings.


Dear Jesus,

When thou cutteth and pasteth from LDS.org, let not there be any footnotes in thy cuttings and thy pastings, lest ye be like unto Nephi, when he plagiarized the translation errors of the apostate Bible.

Thy humble servant,

-CaliforniaKid

P.S. Please do not smite me.

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 5:55 pm 
God
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CaliforniaKid wrote:
Mormon Jesus wrote:
27. Verily, verily, I say unto you, that when I give a commandment to any of the sons of men to do a work unto my name, and those sons of men go with all their might and with all they have to perform that work, and cease not their adiligence, and their enemies come upon them and bhinder them from performing that work, behold, it behooveth me to require that work no more at the hands of those sons of men, but to accept of their offerings.


Dear Jesus,

When thou cutteth and pasteth from LDS.org, let not there be any footnotes in thy cuttings and thy pastings, lest ye be like unto Nephi, when he plagiarized the translation errors of the apostate Bible.

Thy humble servant,

-CaliforniaKid

P.S. Please do not smite me.


BWAHAHAHAHA!

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~Those who benefit from the status quo always attribute inequities to the choices of the underdog.~Ann Crittenden
~The Goddess is not separate from the world-She is the world and all things in it.~


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 10:42 pm 
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CaliforniaKid wrote:
Mormon Jesus wrote:
27. Verily, verily, I say unto you, that when I give a commandment to any of the sons of men to do a work unto my name, and those sons of men go with all their might and with all they have to perform that work, and cease not their adiligence, and their enemies come upon them and bhinder them from performing that work, behold, it behooveth me to require that work no more at the hands of those sons of men, but to accept of their offerings.


Dear Jesus,

When thou cutteth and pasteth from LDS.org, let not there be any footnotes in thy cuttings and thy pastings, lest ye be like unto Nephi, when he plagiarized the translation errors of the apostate Bible.

Thy humble servant,

-CaliforniaKid

P.S. Please do not smite me.


CaliforniaKid is asking the wrong questions. The primary question should be whether this thread brings us closer to an understanding of the Mormon Jesus. While there may be some things about this thread that secular scholarship does not completely understand, we need to put these things on the shelf so we can focus on the right questions.

In furtherance of his agenda, CaliforniaKid also shows his lack of understanding of how revelation works. As these revelations have been received on the board, the transcriber probably recognized that certain things he was receiving were similar to the LDS edition of the Doctrine & Covenants, and so he just borrowed the language from those verses.

Putting on my apologist hat, I would say the evidence is essentially evenly balanced as to whether the posts from Mormon Jesus are actual revelations from Jesus Christ. And I think that's about where things are supposed to be.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 11:07 pm 
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Mormon Jesus wrote:
46. Nevertheless, I, the Lord, am well pleased in the sound of mine own voice, and on this wise shall I speak all manner of superfluous things, and also that which is redundant, and there shall even be, unnecessary commas from time to time, and an abundance of prepositions, that ye may know that I, the Lord, am the Lord;

Yea, Lord, thou art verily a Lord of redundancy and of many unnecessary words, and now I know that I know nothing regarding the artful use of flowery verbiage, which thing I never had supposed.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 2:09 am 
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That last installment doth make my head spinneth and/or hurteth with pain as such to cause me to have a stupor of thought......


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 3:47 am 
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Mormon Jesus wrote:
72. And again, verily I say unto you, let my servant Joseph be appointed, ordained, and anointed, as a moderator, for surely he should be entrusted with control over this board[.]

Thou sayest hard things against us, yea, even more than we can bear.

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 8:44 am 
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This thread makes me feel stupid for having ever believed in Mormonism.

And it is some of the funniest stuff I have ever read.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 8:48 am 
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Darth J wrote:
CaliforniaKid wrote:
Dear Jesus,

When thou cutteth and pasteth from LDS.org, let not there be any footnotes in thy cuttings and thy pastings, lest ye be like unto Nephi, when he plagiarized the translation errors of the apostate Bible.

Thy humble servant,

-CaliforniaKid

P.S. Please do not smite me.


CaliforniaKid is asking the wrong questions. The primary question should be whether this thread brings us closer to an understanding of the Mormon Jesus. While there may be some things about this thread that secular scholarship does not completely understand, we need to put these things on the shelf so we can focus on the right questions.

In furtherance of his agenda, CaliforniaKid also shows his lack of understanding of how revelation works. As these revelations have been received on the board, the transcriber probably recognized that certain things he was receiving were similar to the LDS edition of the Doctrine & Covenants, and so he just borrowed the language from those verses.

Putting on my apologist hat, I would say the evidence is essentially evenly balanced as to whether the posts from Mormon Jesus are actual revelations from Jesus Christ. And I think that's about where things are supposed to be.

This is good stuff.


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 8:53 am 
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HAHAHAHA! I so love this thread.

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:08 am 
God
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CaliforniaKid wrote:
Mormon Jesus wrote:
27. Verily, verily, I say unto you, that when I give a commandment to any of the sons of men to do a work unto my name, and those sons of men go with all their might and with all they have to perform that work, and cease not their adiligence, and their enemies come upon them and bhinder them from performing that work, behold, it behooveth me to require that work no more at the hands of those sons of men, but to accept of their offerings.


Dear Jesus,

When thou cutteth and pasteth from LDS.org, let not there be any footnotes in thy cuttings and thy pastings, lest ye be like unto Nephi, when he plagiarized the translation errors of the apostate Bible.

Thy humble servant,

-CaliforniaKid

P.S. Please do not smite me.

Dear Lord, dost thou not know how to use the "Hide Footnotes" button which thy servants have dutifully put on every page of thy scriptures on LDS.org, in spite of knowing (for thou knowest everything, and tellest thy servants everything that thou doest) that nobody, even thee, knows what that button does, because it looks like plain text.

Try it: thou willst like it.

Image

And please tell thy cute little monkey with the mortar board that, on pain of everlasting punishment, mere mortal primates may not cut from the scriptures, only copy, lest plain and precious truths be lost again - and dost thou not hate when that happens?

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Last edited by malkie on Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:24 am, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:17 am 
malkie wrote:
Dear Lord, dost thou not know how to use the "Hide Footnotes" button which thy servants have dutifully put on every page of thy scriptures on LDS.org, in spite of knowing (for thou knowest everything, and tellest thy servants everything that thou doest) that nobody, even thee, knows what that button does, because it looks like plain text.

Try it: thou willst like it.


Goodness. I don't know how many times I've copied and pasted from LDS.org and then removed the footnotes one by one. How did I miss it?
:neutral:


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:21 am 
God
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Stormy Waters wrote:
malkie wrote:
Dear Lord, dost thou not know how to use the "Hide Footnotes" button which thy servants have dutifully put on every page of thy scriptures on LDS.org, in spite of knowing (for thou knowest everything, and tellest thy servants everything that thou doest) that nobody, even thee, knows what that button does, because it looks like plain text.

Try it: thou willst like it.


Goodness. I don't know how many times I've copied and pasted from LDS.org and then removed the footnotes one by one. How did I miss it?
:neutral:

If thy Lord, even The Mormon Jesus (TM) knoweth not, in what manner canst thou expect to know? Art thou mightier than He? Perhaps He will forgive thee thy iniquities, if thou promise to go thy way and sin no more.

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Maksutov: "... if you give someone else the means to always push your buttons, you're lost."


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 1:12 pm 
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malkie wrote:
And please tell thy cute little monkey with the mortar board that, on pain of everlasting punishment, mere mortal primates may not cut from the scriptures, only copy, lest plain and precious truths be lost again - and dost thou not hate when that happens?

LOL.

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 1:38 pm 
God
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This thread seemeth me good. I learneth much from it.

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~The Goddess is not separate from the world-She is the world and all things in it.~


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 5:20 pm 
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:lol:

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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 4:15 am 
God
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Dear Mormon Jesus,

If thou shouldst ever desire to take thy corporation public, thy handmaiden is versed in keeping your reportings current with the man-made power of the SEC. Yea it would not be good to fall onto the pink sheets. Thus, if thou shouldst need it, I would humbly serve thee in cooking thy books. I would forbear my usual rates and give thee a really good deal.

They humble maidservant,

jo

ps - I am still faithful, even though thou has not provided me the way home. Wait, there is a large bubble heading right for me. Perhaps this is the answer to my many prayers???


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 Post subject: Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions
PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 8:50 am 
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One of the best threads ever on this message board. Keep it up Mormon Jeezus!


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