Since its Sunday I thought I might as well expound a little. A few weeks ago I had the strangest of experiences I hope never to experience again. Needed, I suppose, to get me from point A to point B, I felt what it is like to have the love of God completely removed. This is the fate of Perdition. It is a place where nothing emotional works. It was so woeful that existence is intolerable. I think i mentioned it at the time.
Like over ten years ago when i nearly died after fasting 25 days and all the power drained out of me for a moment and I was given to choose to live or die, after choosing to live all the power came back up and I continued to fast about eighteen days longer, this time with a single thought I popped back into the love of God at the level I have been used to for forty years. This experience gives you a compassion to want that no one should suffer such a thing. As a foundation this experience also shows you that the love of God can empty to nothing but could also fill to a fullness. Then the very trees would obey you. This fact is learned in such an opposite reality.
That was part one of this revelation
Part two came a week ago when I realized that having errant children teaches you to realize that you love them all the same and more that you just as well should love everyone else, even the vilest of enemies. it is all good.
Part three came to me just tonight, at work as usual. There is a lazy good for nuthin' slug that will not pull his weight. I dread being assigned to work in a group with him. Now with the background of the previous illuminations I was having a difficult time hating this guy. For years I have wanted to scream in his face and tell him to man up and earn his wage. I would not do that even when I was less involved with spiritual progress. Casting out hate in this instance brought me to a great thought. This is a thought you just need to experience. The thought informed me, specific to this incident, that I NEED him to complete ME. No, not like the movie, "You complete me" But a knowledge of ONENESS that perfection demands. Everyone completes me. I without them cannot be made perfect. We have heard that before, haven't we?
It supposes me that God is completed in all things. Owning that completeness is what love is. And the cycle is perfectly completed, one eternal round. Sorry, getting a little bit mystical here.
After a seriously long sojourn in the wilderness of obscured emotions I breathed in the love of all again. It has been a long, long time since the Spring of 1973 or '74, Not sure now.
I wanted to share this just to spook you a little by taking you to the edge with me. Perhaps to cause some wondering what marvelous things are these and give you a reason to feel more. This is healing me from an epic loss I suffered at the hands of my LDS family and friends.
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