Top Ten Reasons to be Excited About General Conference

Some Schmo · **Joined:** Tue Mar 27, 2007 8:59 am **Posts:** 6743

Runtu wrote:

I do miss our stake "bleed and feed" that we used to do in Texas, but then I am not allowed to give blood anymore.

Oh!

For a brief second there, I thought you belonged to a community of vampires.

sock puppet · **Posted:** Thu Mar 31, 2011 2:01 pm

stemelbow wrote:

10. A reprieve from the hostilities of MD

You don't need GC for that, just some self control.

sock puppet · **Posted:** Thu Mar 31, 2011 2:05 pm

Runtu wrote:

2. I have a swig of beer every time someone says, "even."

You'll be blotto before noon on Saturday.

Doctor CamNC4Me · **Joined:** Mon Jun 15, 2009 5:02 am **Posts:** 4565

Hello,

1-10: Being reminded that I'll never suffer through one of those things again!

V/R
Dr. Cam

Buffalo · **Posted:** Thu Mar 31, 2011 2:08 pm

sock puppet wrote:

Runtu wrote:

2. I have a swig of beer every time someone says, "even."

You'll be blotto before noon on Saturday.

You are in agreement with me, even Buffalo.

sock puppet · **Posted:** Thu Mar 31, 2011 2:14 pm

Runtu wrote:

2. I have a swig of beer every time someone says, "even."

sock puppet wrote:

You'll be blotto before noon on Saturday.

Buffalo wrote:

You are in agreement with me, even Buffalo.

I've agreed with you many times, Buffalo.

Lucretia MacEvil · **Joined:** Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:01 am **Posts:** 1271

stemelbow wrote:

10. A reprieve from the hostilities of MD
9. Perfect opportunity for taking a Saturday afternoon nap.
8. Taking my 12 year old to Priesthood session for his first time so he can be exposed to the terrible calamity that is pornography in the Church.
7. Skipping church for a week, baby.
6. Spending time on my knees wrastling the kids.
5. Doing some form of a chore with my father-in-law while he has ear plugs in listening to conference--I enjoy not having to interact with him sometimes.
4. Seeing how conference gets beat out by the programs before, after, inbetween the sessions.
3. Its still march madness this weekend. When the choir sings, or the busienss is being done, I can switch it to check up on the game[s]
2. crying.
1. Cynically trying to figure out ways to catch the brethren and sisters in their words so I can report back on MD about how foolish he/she is.

I like #1. Double-dare ya to really do it!

Buffalo · **Posted:** Thu Mar 31, 2011 2:23 pm

sock puppet wrote:

Runtu wrote:

2. I have a swig of beer every time someone says, "even."

sock puppet wrote:

You'll be blotto before noon on Saturday.

Buffalo wrote:

You are in agreement with me, even Buffalo.

I've agreed with you many times, Buffalo.

Yea, and I have oft been agreement with you, even Sock Puppet.

stemelbow · **Joined:** Wed Jan 19, 2011 2:40 pm **Posts:** 5872

Lucretia MacEvil wrote:

stemelbow wrote:

10. A reprieve from the hostilities of MD
9. Perfect opportunity for taking a Saturday afternoon nap.
8. Taking my 12 year old to Priesthood session for his first time so he can be exposed to the terrible calamity that is pornography in the Church.
7. Skipping church for a week, baby.
6. Spending time on my knees wrastling the kids.
5. Doing some form of a chore with my father-in-law while he has ear plugs in listening to conference--I enjoy not having to interact with him sometimes.
4. Seeing how conference gets beat out by the programs before, after, inbetween the sessions.
3. Its still march madness this weekend. When the choir sings, or the busienss is being done, I can switch it to check up on the game[s]
2. crying.
1. Cynically trying to figure out ways to catch the brethren and sisters in their words so I can report back on MD about how foolish he/she is.

I like #1. Double-dare ya to really do it!

Oh come on...I'm sure its been done to death here. I'll appear to be the poser.

Analytics · **Posted:** Thu Mar 31, 2011 2:27 pm

1- It will be wonderful,
2- Marvelous,
3- Joyous,
4- And glorious.
5- Ties will be tied,
6- Hands will be shaken,
7- Hymns will be sung,
8- Speeches will be spoken,
9- Counsel will be counseled,
10- And tears will be shed

schreech · **Joined:** Tue May 25, 2010 9:49 am **Posts:** 1417

Buffalo wrote:

Number 8 made me LOL :D

Ok, tilt, head...look into the camera and engage meaningful stare:

"It (sexual immorality) engenders selfishness and can produce aggressive acts such as brutality, abortion, sexual abuse, and violent crime. Such stimulation can lead to acts of homosexuality, and they are evil and absolutely wrong."...

His attempted "soul-stare" is one of the first memories I have of GC...so...creepy...

DarkHelmet · **Joined:** Tue Mar 03, 2009 5:38 pm **Posts:** 2508

I used to think it would be fun just as entertainment for all the crazy things they say, but GC is so watered down with milk it is just boring now. It's funner to read the Journal of discourses back when they really delved into the meat of the gospel.

Buffalo · **Posted:** Thu Mar 31, 2011 2:54 pm

This is the effect he seems to be going for:

"I'ma hypnotize you with my mind rays!"

Jason Bourne · **Joined:** Sun Oct 29, 2006 2:00 pm **Posts:** 8851

consiglieri wrote:

I am having trouble coming up with even one reason, so was hoping for a little help here.

Runtu?

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

P.S. Soon to be a blood-dripping thread on the other board.

Woe nelly! You are on the slippery slope now!

Joey · **Joined:** Sun Jul 08, 2007 7:34 pm **Posts:** 717

This thread on GC brings back memories. Back in the early 80's I was working for Arthur Andersen in Salt Lake City at the Beneficial Life building. I was one of maybe 5 Gentiles (non-LDS) in an office of about 70-80 professionals then. The Managing PTR was also a non member from Texas. Twice a year he would invite everyone in the office, and pay for everything, out to Willow Creek Country Club on the Saturday of GC in April and October. We always only seemed to have enough folks for two foursomes! It became know as the GGO-Greater Gentile Open!! Lots of fun, food, drinks and great golf. (April was always a little iffy on the snow and weather though!). Could not believe the loyalty to staying home on Saturday to watch those monotone speakers!!

consiglieri · **Joined:** Tue Apr 24, 2007 4:47 pm **Posts:** 2984

Jason Bourne wrote:

Woe nelly! You are on the slippery slope now!

I am not sure that is a bad thing when considering one of the activities Will Schryver likes most to do during General Conference, as posted on the companion thread:

Quote:

Cuddling with one of my daughters during part of a session; stroking her hair and brow; massaging her scalp, temples, neck and shoulders; conveying my love for her through the gentle touch of my hands. (My wife has a tradition of squeezing lotion all over her hands and massaging the children’s feet. It always fills me with emotion to watch her, and reminds me of the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.)

Am I the only one this makes a tad uncomfortable?

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

Runtu · **Posted:** Thu Mar 31, 2011 5:19 pm

consiglieri wrote:

Am I the only one this makes a tad uncomfortable?

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

At least there's no light cotton involved. What Will posted is kind of sweet, in a "there's no way I'd share that much detail about my wife" sort of way.

I misread that. I thought he was massaging the wife. Yeah, it's a bit uncomfortable.

sock puppet · **Posted:** Thu Mar 31, 2011 5:51 pm

consiglieri wrote:

Jason Bourne wrote:

Woe nelly! You are on the slippery slope now!

I am not sure that is a bad thing when considering one of the activities Will Schryver likes most to do during General Conference, as posted on the companion thread:

Quote:

Cuddling with one of my daughters during part of a session; stroking her hair and brow; massaging her scalp, temples, neck and shoulders; conveying my love for her through the gentle touch of my hands. (My wife has a tradition of squeezing lotion all over her hands and massaging the children’s feet. It always fills me with emotion to watch her, and reminds me of the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.)

Am I the only one this makes a tad uncomfortable?

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

More than a tad. I suspect the daughters are a tad uncomfortable with it too.

Chap · **Joined:** Mon Jun 11, 2007 4:23 am **Posts:** 5562

sock puppet wrote:

More than a tad. I suspect the daughters are a tad uncomfortable with it too.

Feeling uncomfortable about pretty well all known characteristics of Schryver is a valuable indicator of normality.

I hope for their sakes that those daughters feel uncomfortable too.

harmony · **Posted:** Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:14 pm

Will wrote:

Cuddling with one of my daughters during part of a session; stroking her hair and brow; massaging her scalp, temples, neck and shoulders; conveying my love for her through the gentle touch of my hands. (My wife has a tradition of squeezing lotion all over her hands and massaging the children’s feet. It always fills me with emotion to watch her, and reminds me of the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.)

Does he realize that that could get him arrested in some states?

Yoda · **Posted:** Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:37 pm

consiglieri wrote:

Jason Bourne wrote:

Woe nelly! You are on the slippery slope now!

I am not sure that is a bad thing when considering one of the activities Will Schryver likes most to do during General Conference, as posted on the companion thread:

Quote:

Cuddling with one of my daughters during part of a session; stroking her hair and brow; massaging her scalp, temples, neck and shoulders; conveying my love for her through the gentle touch of my hands. (My wife has a tradition of squeezing lotion all over her hands and massaging the children’s feet. It always fills me with emotion to watch her, and reminds me of the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.)

Am I the only one this makes a tad uncomfortable?

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

OK, guys....I am no fan of Will's, but I think it is extremely wrong to suggest that there is anything inappropriate going on between Will and his daughter. Will is many things, but certainly not a pedophile.

Top Ten Reasons to be Excited About General Conference

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