This is exactly my story as well. We were definitely poor. I one point, we even went to a food bank. My wife certainly didn't marry me for the money, although now people think she did, given the way we live these days. They just didn't know us when we were dirt poor.

If you can't get laid, it's due to your attitudes and inability to talk to women. Plain and simple. Don't blame your wallet.

Even if they did (and I doubt it) you failed on both counts so why do you expect the promise to happen?



Okay, I see what this is. You're a lazy thinker. Things that sound like this are said all the time.

"Be worthy and you'll be blessed," and some examples of blessings and what you should do and you assumed you'd get specific blessings.



Sure you were.



No it wasn't taught. Most everyone who thought that way is still single. This is according to my dad who got married around that time. I see it still holds true here. You thought that and are single.



No, more about your own mentality.



They didn't have to obsess about getting sex; they were already getting it.



As compared to you:

white? check.
male? check.
racist? check.
incestuous? Not enough information but that kind of thing does lead to mental trauma so quite possible.

So.....are you projecting?



No, you turned them into your idols and projected your frustrations onto them.



So out of curiosity how much do you weigh?

And all the while there was a sweet, young, fairly attractive, maybe a tad bit heavy RM Mormon boy that would have seen past the girl's physical state and loved her for the soul she was on the inside. I think the problem was that the girl was expecting that the general population of young hot-bodied males would overlook her physical inadequacies, because she'd been given the golden promise, so she sat and ate sweets all her life not worried about her weight maybe being an issue.

These dudes that she was attracted to really sound like a bunch of winners, anyways! She should maybe be glad that she wasn't able to seal the deal with any of them assholes.

Bottom-line, don't put expectations into somebody else that you're unwilling to fulfill yourself.

Behind Darrick lurks a "Buffalo Bill", just waiting to get out. It would explain his obsession with "fat" women.

"It puts the lotion on the skin, or it gets the hose again."

In that case, listen closely:

Do you have a college degree? If so, sign up to teach English in Japan. You're a white American male, so you'll instantly become an alpha male as soon as the plane touches down.

Now go and fulfill your destiny!

Is this yet another testimony to the size of the male member being first and foremost? What about knowledge of proper tea ceremonies or making guttural grunts when handling swords - those things could be impressive too.

I doubt it.


Why?

To Nehor,

1. YES! We were told all the time that "if" we reamined "worthy" and "kept the commanments" God would send us beautiful women to take to the Temple. All the time. Over and over.

2. I am height-weight proportionate. On my mission I became chubby because all I ate was Dennison's chile and beans, back when it was filled was grease. I hated cooking. I had Dennison's for breakfast lunch and dinner unless we had a Dinner Appointment--the only time I ate anything else. I was bloated and filled with gas all the time. Yes, farted quite abit. But DAMN that chile tasted good, especially with a little cheese over the top. Then Dennison's took out most of the grease!

3. YES, just about all the Mormon men I spoke to who were older (over 30 at that time...over 60 today) told me they believed God had sex with Mary and they inteneded to have many wives in the Celestial Kingdom, and the doctrine of God and Mary having sex with beautiful and the greatest doctrine in the Gospel they knew of.

I will repeat what I wrote earlier:]

*Women (all of them) LOVE Alpha Males. When they smell the Alpha Male pheromone, they fall in love. Alpha males can be broke, addicted to drugs, ugly, fat, and stupid, and women will love them and take care of them---because of the pheromone.

*Women DO NOT LIKE Omega males. No matter what you say. You can give them your kidney, and they'll thank you, but still not like you. Pheromones.

*Yes, I can "cover" my Omega pheromone with AXE spray. Won't make me an Alpha, but women will not dispise me. But it won't make me an Alpha either. And I'm broke, and women don't like broke Betas either. They love an Alpha even if he is broke. HE could spit in her eye and piss in her drink, and she'll think it "cute" if he's an alpha.

Derrick, the reason the Japanese gals studying in America are not interested in you is that they see tons of American men and so it loses the aspect of exotic appeal. Also, most are probably very focused on their studies and not into dating that much. However, anytime someone makes a suggestion you shoot it down -- are you your own worse enemy?

Why are you fixated on age? In most cultures around the world much older males feel no inhibitions in dating younger women, and the women don't seem to mind either. Look at the Hollywood leading men like Clooney, Pitt and Depp -- they are all around 50 years of age and probably most 18 yer old females would gladly date them if they were available. The strange thing is, the only sub-group in the US population that I have found to be really freaked out by age differences are LDS princesses, but hey, many will wind up Mormon nuns anyway. However, even there, if you want a Mormon wife, there are tons of them (no pun intended, the fat ones tend to be pickier about age and the like than the thin ones anyway) who find nothing wrong with dating older guys. A friend of mine went through a divorce and, while devout but inactive, moved to Salt Lake for a while and had no problem finding several dates a week. In fact, for a while he dated a gal just off her mission (she was 21 and he was in his mid-30s). He was the one who broke up with her -- as well as the 19 year old non-member college gal who he dated for a while before dumping her (she would have done anything for him but he just could not get his ex wife out of his mind even though she was shacked up with a guy and had caused the divorce in the first place).

So Darrick, are you like the Alan character on 2 1/2 Men or are you more like a Charley? Women prefer a Charley you know. And get away from that strange pheremone idea you have -- women are attracted to men who smell like their dads, that has been shown in several studies. So somewhere out there are women who will like you. I doubt if you have to move to Japan or Slovenia or whatever, but you do have to stop making excuses and above all, stop blaming the Church for your having to spend evenings alone watching Star Trek re-runs.

Just to follow it up with strangeness of your own. . .



FAIL! None of the partners I've been attracted to smell like my Dad! If anything that would be creepy and vomit-inducing. . . in fact I just had to choke back the urge right now just thinking about it! And how does smell factor into match-making avenues such as online dating, where two people can be attracted to each other without having ever smelled their scent. Not to mention the many fatherless women whose fathers left before they were ever able to smell them.

Fiannan, why is it that you come across as a complete egotistical bastard whenever I read of your comments when it comes to women. Maybe I should just brush it off as coincidence?

And Darrick, you aren't far behind Fiannan there, I'm sorry women aren't just falling all over you like you are God's gift to woman. This whole story is repulsive. . . like the 100-virgin idea that a faithful religious man will get for serving obediently. . . maybe if you change your focus on what's important in life, everything will just fall into place for you.

Well redefined, here are some readings about scent:

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn1 ... e-dad.html

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/ ... nses.shtml

But it might work in respect to men as well:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles ... ers-secret

Moral to the above story? If you are a stripper avoid being on the pill -- and make sure you work during ovulation. Oh, and I suppose for women who are not stripping, and have male bosses, schedule that appointment about asking for a raise when you are ovulating.

Yes, biology does indeed play a factor in human mating. Duh, why wouldn't it? The main point of getting together with someone is to reproduce (it is actually the ultimate reason since without reproduction we kinda die out as a species). So we do share many characteristics with other members of God's creation.

However, to say certain men send a woman into some sort of drug induced sexual ecstasy -- the drug being his perspiration -- ignores far more important physiological and psychological variables that are important in the human mating game.

I smell like yo daddy.

Wow, you've got an excuse for everything, huh?

I don't consider myself an Alpha male, but even if I were, are you really trying to sell us on the idea that type B personalities can't get laid?

Seriously, you must be smoking something stronger than weed.

Yes, Darrick. It's allll your pheromones' fault you can't make it with the ladies. That fact that you're a complete lunatic has nothing to do with it. Riiiiiight. Just keep telling yourself that. How convenient.

Three words, one smell: Dial bar soap.

You know irish spring is where it's at, Porter.

Let's see which soap the ladies prefer on their man...

Still believing you thought they did.



No self-control, got it.



Rewritten memories are great.

I've determined one more reason women don't like you.

Thank you for quoting that Nehor. Somehow I missed that the first time around.

Darrick,

I joined MormonDiscussions because of your post. I feel compelled to share my sympathy for what you've expressed as being betrayed by the promises of the leadership of the church. I too was given similar promises about such things, as well as others.

When I returned from my mission, I dated and found myself to continue being the outsider toward the "normal" class of people. I simply began to alienate myself from women and social functions due to past wounds and trauma.

I did end up marrying, and she was a wonderful woman, but utterly a mismatch for myself and her. After 10 years of marraige, we divorced. It was at this time I began to realize a terrible truth about my experience with the church and my family. They are taught my relationship skills that do not work. They had created in me an equation of obligating others to love me, whilst not loving them back for who they were. I had learned the terrible habit of co-dependency.

I've since grown into a wisdom that relationships are not obligated. People, women nor men, are obligated to love me. No one is. Not God, not parents, not children, no one. Love and acceptance are given to one from another. As I journeyed through the difficult desert of this realization, I began to give myself that love, that acceptance and that appreciation. This empowered me. I began to have an abundance of these things and wanted to share freely with others. This, paradoxically, made me more attractive to women.

So, if you want someone in your life that loves you for you, you need to be that person to yourself first. Its time for you to begin to master the game of reality and the rel tennets of relationships. I have several resources that can help you achieve such things. I would recommend looking up www.trueloveondemand.com and www.lovebydesign.com. These are excellent books to start with.

Anyhow, Darrick, if you desire to be a lover to another, you must be that lover to yourself first.