Ms Mica Hunt,

You so delighted the denizens of this Board over the 4th of July holiday.

Pray tell, will you be once again dazzling us with your TBM brilliance this 24th of July weekend? It is, after all, a Mormon holiday!

Regards,

Spider.

I already outed myself with this sock puppet, so I don't know how fun it would be now that everyone knows who it is.

And like I said when I outed myself, every single thing Sister Hunt has said on the board is based on real encounters and experiences I have had with TBM's. That means I have to channel a TBM to do a Mica Hunt post, and I'm not sure how much I have the stomach for that right now.

There was an exhibit at the South Towne [sic] Exposition Center in Sandy, Utah this week where you could go look at the floats for the 24th of July Parade. I went to that (obligated by family).

For those not familiar with this ritual, the 24th of July is a state holiday in Utah because this is the day when Brigham Young, lying sick in his wagon, was pulled into Emigration Canyon in the Salt Lake Valley and said, "f*** this s***, I'm not going any further." This was later paraphrased to, "This is the right place."



Part of this annual ritual is a rodeo in downtown Salt Lake City: your chance to see brave men and women try to outwit livestock. But there is also the parade through downtown Salt Lake. Every year this has the same theme, but phrased a different way: "Pioneering to the Future," "From Past to Present," "Today is the Yesterday We Will Regret Tomorrow." This year is, "Then and Now." LDS wards and stakes from around Utah have floats in the parade, each of which celebrates temples, missionaries, the current president of the Church, seagulls, or reminds us how Mormons in 1847 had the same worldview and same concept of Mormonism as LDS people in the suburban Wasatch Front do today.

Utah's answer to Charles Wysocki, Eric Dowdle (they're Americana-type folk artists), has immortalized the Days of '47 Parade in his art:



Every year, residents of Utah can look forward to a big thumbs up from the prophet in the Pioneer Day parade:



And of course parades are one of the two times when playing the bagpipes are acceptable (the other time being at funerals for police officers).



At any other time, there is no jury in America that would convict you of murder for killing someone because they were playing the bagpipes.

Here's a float from this year's parade, celebrating how people used to have to watch primitive TV sets to hear Thomas S. Monson drone on and on about Thanksgiving programs for widows and people with Alzheimer's recognizing him but not their own family members. Today, these important prophetic messages can be heard on an iPod.



Or if you want a special glimpse into the TBM psyche, here's a float from a different year about "liberty," where Captain Moroni from the Book of Mormon waves the title of liberty, while a modern U.S. soldier pulls a pioneer handcart. This is what Dadaism would have looked like if Mormons had invented it.



You can read a Church News article about this annual ritual here: http://www.ldschurchnews.com/articles/5 ... itage.html

There is also an official "Days of '47" site: http://www.daysof47.com/

Please note, however, that the Mormon War, polygamy, the continued practice of polygamy after the Church promised it would stop, the Mountain Meadows Massacre, the Adam-God theory, and black people being the cursed seed of Cain are not typically included in any Pioneer Day parade floats, as such things are not officially considered to be part of our Pioneer Heritage.

Wow. That's a pretty funny post. I love the iPod float. And what's up with the soldier pulling the handcart? Is it a commentary on how poorly equipped our modern army is?

What is really hilarious is that so few people on this board understood, from the very beginning, that “Mica” was obviously a sockpuppet for a critic rather than a TBM posting sincerely. Anyone who didn’t see that right off the bat is, to use Kevin Graham’s favorite word, an idiot.

I am also a little surprised that no one here found objectionable the equally obvious over-the-top vulgarity of the name chosen for the sockpuppet. I have no doubt it was done very deliberately, along with the selection of Sheri Dew’s photo as the avatar.

“Paging Ben Dover …”

You’re all so funny and clever …

Is Cap'n Moroni wearing a Reynolds Foil hat? If he weren't, he could probably hear Tommy Monson's voice without an I-Pod..

I had already made a comment about the obvious "female version of Mike Hunt" potty humor, weeks ago.

So yes, some of us are quite clever :D

What specifically did I say in my Mica Hunt persona that was not accurate about TBM's, Will?

You know, with my Catholic naiveté, I didn't get the pun on Mica's name until just now. So, I will continue to ignore it. She is still funny.

I will not respond to people who insist on playing the "Nomad is a sockpuppet for Schryver" game.

I'm sure Dr. Shades can verify for everyone, via a simple comparison of the IP addresses, that Schryver and Nomad are not the same and that we live a couple thousand miles apart from one another.

Fine, not-Will.

What specifically did I say in my Mica Hunt persona that was not accurate about TBM's?

Mr. Darth J,

As much as I like the Darth J persona, your camp cross-dressing persona of Mica Hunt was too delicious. Better than the barbecue I went to on the 4th. I was hoping for a reprisal of Ms. Hunt (whose hand being in that sock puppet was fairly obvious even before self-outing as you have a distinctive style). Just imagine the camp commentary to those photos if you were in character as Ms. Hunt. My loss.

Regards,

Spider.

I don't know.

I don't care.

I never even read all the posts, and I couldn't care less if you did or did not say anything that was not accurate about "TBMs".

I acknowledge that you are clever, a good writer, and that you use your apparently large store of anger and resentment towards Mormonism and Mormons as a muse to produce what I'm sure are regarded as works of apostate art by your fellows here. Congratulations! You've finally found a calling you can truly magnify.

What specifically is so apparent about this large store of anger and resentment towards Mormonism and Mormons that I allegedly have?

What specifically do I "resent" about Mormonism and Mormons?

What specifically am I "angry" about?

Mr. Nomad,

Your post caused me to think of the old stand-by reply, "all the way up with a red hot poker."

Regards,

Spider.

Hmmm. It seemed to me everyone here understood it was a parody sockpuppet, just like the BKP and Monson ones from a while back. But, you know, never miss an opportunity to call people idiots.

It would be well to remember that you're talking to someone who finds the narrator arrogant and mean-spirited, but is mightily impressed by Will Schryver. I'd say it's a good sign that such a person sees a large store of anger and resentment.

Thanks for those pic's Darth. Once upon a time Pioneer Day used to be kinda fun. But that was long ago, pre-correlation.

What is even stranger, is the couple in fully garbed wedding dress standing to the left of the handcart. Perhaps to affirm the church's changing, yet somehow eternal marital ideal of one man to one woman, contrary to earlier church teachings which promoted one man and multiple women.

Captian Moroni, a nameless G.I. and a married couple. Something tells me there is a very kinky undercurrent to this float.

And magnify it he does! I absolutely love reading Darth J's stuff. He not only follows in the tradition of Cinepro and Moksha in their sardonic Mormon humor, but sometimes even takes it to a whole new level.

You go get em Darth! You friggin rock.

Wow... what an incredible waste of technology. Where's some good old fashioned mormon porn when you need it?

Actually, General Authority photographs constitute "Mormon porn", don't they? Have you ever seen the centerfold of a conference edition of the Ensign?