I started posting on these message boards around seven years ago. First on the 2think site, then ZLMB. I faded away after Z died and made another start here a little over a year ago. I first would like to apologize for the veneer of dishonesty. My moniker was a believing Mormon that I was 7 years ago. I was not attending when I first started posting here which I admitted to. My favorite poster of all time was Craig Criddle, before he started the Saplding research I had online discussions with him that were very enjoyable and enlightening. I sent Craig an email today and thought I would post the contents of it here as my last thread as mikwut. I quote myself:
I hope your well. I find some kind of solace in writing you a quick note. I and my wife have left the Mormon Church. I intend to stop posting under mikwut. Ironically, it was none of the normal doctrines like the Book of Abraham, polygamy, anachronisms, etc.. that turned my stubborn and sophisticated warpings inside out. Rather, my brother was falsely accused of molesting his children by his wife and his wfie's family during a very bitter divorce. Watching the process of this very Mormon family go through such disgusting mechanisms because of some unsavory things my brother did do, that would never be construed by well thinking people as to conclude such behavior would imply harming his young children, brought my mind to the reality that their religious bearings claim such a hold over their minds that they are without rational ability in many things. My brother's actions could never imply the dastardly implications of J.S. - why did he receive an unthinking pass from these sharks looking for blood?
I was then forced to consider my own father's deep CES influence on me. He beat the internet to my pyche and consciousness. I was already prepared for it when it came. But, after reflection on my apologetic position I determined I am no more Mormon than Christian non-Mormons, I am simply hanging onto to a socio-cultural comfort.
This is and has been extremely difficult, it is like waves of reality crashing over my once stable universe and soul - Craig, the whole cosmos is undone. My life is now viewed with regrets I couldn't have imagined several years ago. I sometimes question if I know who I am. The unnerving yet fascinating ability of our minds to view something as whole and later view it with complete disdain and silliness causes me tumultuous times. The regret and resentment I am keeping are what I wish to mature and move past. I have endured this well over a year now. Thank God for my wife.
My final question was Smith Alone or Spalding. Contrary to my posting I was rooting for Spalding but just can't get there, I think I have satisfied my quest on that matter and am at rest that either one leaves the same remainder for me.
I wanted to thank you for your always even keel and sincere approach to all things. I have never met you in person, but the meaning of friend has taken on a different tapestry for me and I thank you for your small part.
I wish you well and a good summer.
last regards, Mik