Craig,

I hope your well. I find some kind of solace in writing you a quick note. I and my wife have left the Mormon Church. I intend to stop posting under mikwut. Ironically, it was none of the normal doctrines like the Book of Abraham, polygamy, anachronisms, etc.. that turned my stubborn and sophisticated warpings inside out. Rather, my brother was falsely accused of molesting his children by his wife and his wfie's family during a very bitter divorce. Watching the process of this very Mormon family go through such disgusting mechanisms because of some unsavory things my brother did do, that would never be construed by well thinking people as to conclude such behavior would imply harming his young children, brought my mind to the reality that their religious bearings claim such a hold over their minds that they are without rational ability in many things. My brother's actions could never imply the dastardly implications of J.S. - why did he receive an unthinking pass from these sharks looking for blood?

I was then forced to consider my own father's deep CES influence on me. He beat the internet to my pyche and consciousness. I was already prepared for it when it came. But, after reflection on my apologetic position I determined I am no more Mormon than Christian non-Mormons, I am simply hanging onto to a socio-cultural comfort.

This is and has been extremely difficult, it is like waves of reality crashing over my once stable universe and soul - Craig, the whole cosmos is undone. My life is now viewed with regrets I couldn't have imagined several years ago. I sometimes question if I know who I am. The unnerving yet fascinating ability of our minds to view something as whole and later view it with complete disdain and silliness causes me tumultuous times. The regret and resentment I am keeping are what I wish to mature and move past. I have endured this well over a year now. Thank God for my wife.

My final question was Smith Alone or Spalding. Contrary to my posting I was rooting for Spalding but just can't get there, I think I have satisfied my quest on that matter and am at rest that either one leaves the same remainder for me.

I wanted to thank you for your always even keel and sincere approach to all things. I have never met you in person, but the meaning of friend has taken on a different tapestry for me and I thank you for your small part.

I wish you well and a good summer.

Are you going to keep posting, but under your real name instead of as Mikwut?

So you "punish" the Church because of your brother's wife?

No. I of course didn't detail every aspect of my present mind. My brother's situation allowed a catalyst for me to see those I thought I respected in a different light. It also allowed me to question those same dark parts of myself.

As I pointed out I was the son of a CES man. The church infuses the lives of all the members, but CES families live and breathe even a richer air of influence and significance on a daily basis. The church literally fed me, and instead of attending baseball games with my Dad I went to scripture chases. Breaking down that deep deep veneer was even more difficult for me, but my brother's situation allowed me to 'see' without my old eyes.

Ah! Over churched? I can feel that way sometimes. Fortunately I've been able to maintain balance in my life and realize, as does the Church, that life is to be enjoyed. But it's interesting how sin is always the catalyst to apostasy. In this case, an overreaction to the difference between one's own balance and another's has caused one to be susceptible.

What a pompous thing to say...

I think it's only a matter of time before absman follows.

But it's interesting how sin is always the catalyst to apostasy. In this case, an overreaction to the difference between one's own balance and another's has caused one to be susceptible.

Ah! Over churched? I can feel that way sometimes. Fortunately I've been able to maintain balance in my life and realize, as does the Church, that life is to be enjoyed. But it's interesting how sin is always the catalyst to apostasy. In this case, an overreaction to the difference between one's own balance and another's has caused one to be susceptible.

I'm a procrastinator at heart. I'm shooting for apostasy after an eternity. If that doesn't work, I'll go for a lifetime instead.

As I've always had an affinity for you, I am particularly touched by your post and wish you only the best. Your wife leaving the church along with you is a real blessing; I'm so glad you don't have the added strain of being the unbelieving spouse.

I'm sorry for what your brother and his family are going through and hope the best for them, as well.

I'm readying for the grand wedding of two Oklahoma University grads, both lawyers. I won't be the least bit surprised if they exit the sanctuary to Boomer Sooner--at the very least it will be played at the reception tonight. I'll be your proxy while I sing along. And while I have a drink or two, if you so wish. ;-)