MTV’s Engaged and Underage - Temple Wedding

The catch-all forum for general topics and debates. Minimal moderation. Rated PG to PG-13.
User avatar
neworder
Priest
Posts: 298
Joined: Wed Oct 25, 2006 11:38 am

MTV’s Engaged and Underage - Temple Wedding

Post by neworder »

Saw this on MormonStories.org and thought people would like to see it.

===== From MormonStories ======
MTV is running a series called “Engaged and Underage” on underage marriages in the U.S. One of the couples they are spotlighting is a Mormon couple — she was raised in the church, he converted.

Within this episode, they explore how hard it is for non-LDS families to be excluded from the wedding ceremony in the LDS temple. It’s definitely an interesting Mormon story. Some parts are QUITE painful.

To watch the episode, click here and then click on the “Engaged and Underage: Episode 6 — Play All” link at the top right of the page.

Yoda

Post by Yoda »

I am in the process of watching this episode, and it simply makes my blood boil! The "bride" is being a total WITCH! What the hell?! The groom's mother is having legitimate concerns about not being able to attend her son's wedding, and all Ms. Priss has to say is "it's MY wedding, not HERS, and I can do whatever I want!?" WTF!!!!!

If MY daughter was that disrespectful, I don't care hold old she was, she wouldn't be sitting for a MONTH!

They're BOTH 19 years old. If the guy is such a "good Mormon", why isn't he going on a mission?

There are so many WTF's here, I don't even know where to begin.

OK...my rant is over now....I'll try and watch the rest of the program before commenting further. LOL I"m only at the bridal shower!

Thanks for the link, by the way.

User avatar
Sethbag
God
Posts: 6855
Joined: Thu Feb 22, 2007 4:52 am

Post by Sethbag »

I started it, and the very first time that ____ said "it's MY wedding, not hers" I just had to turn it off. I just wasn't in the mood to hear that kind of crap. I left the browser open though, so I'll probably go back and watch the rest of it, when I'm in the frame of mind. You know, that frame of mind where you can hear fingernails dragging down a chalkboard and not seem to mind so much.

Yoda

Post by Yoda »

Sethbag wrote:I started it, and the very first time that ____ said "it's MY wedding, not hers" I just had to turn it off. I just wasn't in the mood to hear that kind of crap. I left the browser open though, so I'll probably go back and watch the rest of it, when I'm in the frame of mind. You know, that frame of mind where you can hear fingernails dragging down a chalkboard and not seem to mind so much.


It gets worse. If you decide to watch the rest, have a tranquilizer ready. LOL

They decide to do a ring ceremony for the non-member family, which I think is a really great idea. The little bratty bride actually starts crying and becomes completely disengaged with the idea. It's like she doesn't care about her fiancée or his family at all.

What frustrates me is that the fiancée calls her on it, and even though her parents know that the fiancée is right, they give kind of a half-assed apologetic attempt at smoothing things over. This girl is probably their youngest, and they just want her out the door.

The bride actually throws a fit about her fiancée's sisters wanting to read a poem at the ring ceremony.

It is absolutely ridiculous!

OK...time to calm my blood pressure down.

User avatar
Sethbag
God
Posts: 6855
Joined: Thu Feb 22, 2007 4:52 am

Post by Sethbag »

It very much sounds like this 19-year old girl is way, way too immature to be getting married. And to think, she's getting married to a 19-year old Mormon boy? As in, a 19-year old Mormon boy who didn't go on a mission? What exactly is she thinking? Or is she stuck in her "when I grow up, I want to be a moth-er, and have a family, one little, two little, three little babies of my own!" mentality (thank me later on today when that song has been stuck in your head for hours ;-) ) that she learned in primary and YW?

What's really stupid is that since she must still be unendowed and have never been to a temple marriage ceremony, she probably has this far-out fantasy of what it's like, all glorious with choirs of angels trumpeting their marriage to the Almighty, visions of her dead ancestors smiling approvingly as they all attend the wedding from the Spirit World, the veil growing very, very thin.

Instead, she'll show up, go through a fairly bizarre ritual where she'll learn some secret handshakes and passwords required to get into heaven, the sealer will bore them with his 20 minute "never go to bed angry" advise, and then he'll perform the ceremony, and afterwards she'll be like "that was IT?"

User avatar
Who Knows
God
Posts: 2455
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2006 12:09 pm

Post by Who Knows »

Sethbag wrote:...the sealer will bore them with his 20 minute "never go to bed angry" advise...


I thought there was a new policy where the sealer wasn't supposed to do that anymore.
WK: "Joseph Smith asserted that the Book of Mormon peoples were the original inhabitants of the americas"
Will Schryver: "No, he didn’t." 3/19/08
Still waiting for Will to back this up...

Yoda

Post by Yoda »

Sethbag wrote:It very much sounds like this 19-year old girl is way, way too immature to be getting married. And to think, she's getting married to a 19-year old Mormon boy? As in, a 19-year old Mormon boy who didn't go on a mission?


I had a "WTF?" reaction to that myself. LOL

What exactly is she thinking? Or is she stuck in her "when I grow up, I want to be a moth-er, and have a family, one little, two little, three little babies of my own!" mentality (thank me later on today when that song has been stuck in your head for hours ;-) ) that she learned in primary and YW?


Enlighten me. I play for primary, and I'm not sure which song you're talking about. ;) (Or are you just making a general statement here?)

What's really stupid is that since she must still be unendowed and have never been to a temple marriage ceremony, she probably has this far-out fantasy of what it's like, all glorious with choirs of angels trumpeting their marriage to the Almighty, visions of her dead ancestors smiling approvingly as they all attend the wedding from the Spirit World, the veil growing very, very thin.

Instead, she'll show up, go through a fairly bizarre ritual where she'll learn some secret handshakes and passwords required to get into heaven, the sealer will bore them with his 20 minute "never go to bed angry" advise, and then he'll perform the ceremony, and afterwards she'll be like "that was IT?"


Actually, there is a shot of the "happy couple" coming out of the temple, and she is beaming stating that the temple ceremony was "everything she dreamed it would be".

However....NEWSFLASH!...When I got married in the temple, the whole ceremony was a blur. I was just happy I was married. When you're young and in love, you don't really care if you're getting married in a castle or a shack. It's the PARENTS that care. THEY are the ones spending the money on the wedding, and have invested in raising the young people taking their vows.

I had a lot of respect for the groom's mother. She showed a lot of class through the whole thing. More LDS Church members should follow her example.

User avatar
Sethbag
God
Posts: 6855
Joined: Thu Feb 22, 2007 4:52 am

Post by Sethbag »

I'm talking about the song that begins, as I quoted, "when I grow up - I want to be a mother - and have a family..."

Can anyone give a better reference? I've got the tune stuck in my head, but obviously I can't describe what it sounds like. I'm sure you've heard it before, since I didn't make this up.

As far as the bride saying the temple was everything she'd dreamed it would be... Yeah, right. I think she's saying what she knows the parents want her to say. She should be thankful didn't get endowed back before April 1990. Then she'd come out and say "yeah it was everything I dreamt it would be!" and in her mind she'd be thinking I did WHAT?

Ok, I googled that line: here's a reference to the song in a conference talk:
http://www.LDS.org/conference/talk/disp ... 38,00.html

Apparently it was a song in a book called "Beloved Songs". I'm way to old now to remember what the name of the primary songbook is though. I hope that helps.

Yoda

Post by Yoda »

Sethbag wrote:I'm talking about the song that begins, as I quoted, "when I grow up - I want to be a mother - and have a family..."

Can anyone give a better reference? I've got the tune stuck in my head, but obviously I can't describe what it sounds like. I'm sure you've heard it before, since I didn't make this up.

As far as the bride saying the temple was everything she'd dreamed it would be... Yeah, right. I think she's saying what she knows the parents want her to say. She should be thankful didn't get endowed back before April 1990. Then she'd come out and say "yeah it was everything I dreamt it would be!" and in her mind she'd be thinking I did WHAT?

Ok, I googled that line: here's a reference to the song in a conference talk:
http://www.LDS.org/conference/talk/disp ... 38,00.html

Apparently it was a song in a book called "Beloved Songs". I'm way to old now to remember what the name of the primary songbook is though. I hope that helps.


Wow...this is wild. I'm 42 years old. I have played the piano for Primary since I was 15. I have NEVER heard or played this song. It is not in the official Primary book. It wasn't in the "Sing with Me" book, either. It must have been in the small blue primary book that we rarely used. LOL

User avatar
Analytics
God
Posts: 4163
Joined: Thu Feb 15, 2007 3:24 pm

Post by Analytics »

It looks like the point of the show is to make the couple look immature and naïve, and it does a pretty good job of that. As a guideline, I don’t think you’re old enough to get married until you’re old enough to rent a car.

Yoda

Post by Yoda »

Analytics wrote:It looks like the point of the show is to make the couple look immature and naïve, and it does a pretty good job of that. As a guideline, I don’t think you’re old enough to get married until you’re old enough to rent a car.


LOL! Good adage!

Yoda

Post by Yoda »

I would love to see an update in five years to find out if this couple is still married. Both of them have a lot of growing up to do.

User avatar
Jason Bourne
God
Posts: 9207
Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2006 2:00 pm

Post by Jason Bourne »

I am in the process of watching this episode, and it simply makes my blood boil! The "bride" is being a total WITCH! What the hell?! The groom's mother is having legitimate concerns about not being able to attend her son's wedding, and all Ms. Priss has to say is "it's MY wedding, not HERS, and I can do whatever I want!?" WTF!!!!!


Great way to start off a nice relationship with Mom in law.

User avatar
truth dancer
High Goddess of Atlantis
Posts: 4792
Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 6:40 am

Post by truth dancer »

Ahhh...

When I grow up, I want to be a mother
and have a family
one little, two little, three little babies of my own

When I grow up, I want to be a mother
and have a family
four little, five little, six little babies of my own.

I remember it well! LOL!

It is not in the official primary songbook but is from a private company that had a bunch of LDS tapes for children.

It was all over the place when I lived in Utah! :-)

~dancer~
"The search for reality is the most dangerous of all undertakings for it destroys the world in which you live." Nisargadatta Maharaj

User avatar
Pokatator
Famous Potato
Posts: 1417
Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:38 am

Post by Pokatator »

What happened to:

Exo 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

Maybe the world will be blessed and their days upon the land will be short enough for them not to reproduce.

Yoda

Post by Yoda »

Pokatator wrote:What happened to:

Exo 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

Maybe the world will be blessed and their days upon the land will be short enough for them not to reproduce.


LOL! Gotta love the potato!

Mister Scratch
Master Mahan
Posts: 5604
Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2006 2:13 pm

Post by Mister Scratch »

I watched this show and enjoyed it very much. I thought the producers did a solid job of showing the consequences of mixing a young girl's tendency towards "bridezilla-ism" with the restrictive nature of LDS temple marriages. I also got quite a laugh out of the sequence where the two families meet up for dinner, and the girl discusses the ingredients which have gone into the oxymoronically-named jello salad.

User avatar
moksha
God
Posts: 22013
Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 2:42 pm

Post by moksha »

Here is an in depth look at the issues and possible solutions around the question of involving the entire family in the wedding process:

http://www.kevingraham.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=230
Cry Heaven and let loose the Penguins of Peace

User avatar
neworder
Priest
Posts: 298
Joined: Wed Oct 25, 2006 11:38 am

Post by neworder »

It will be interesting to see where this couple is a few years from now. I wonder how "converted" the guy is to Mormonism. She started dating him in high school and was not a member and then he converted over and I am assuming he did this because she has always wanted to get married "in the temple". Growing up you are drilled over and over about getting married in the temple.

I think most people have no idea what the temple ceremony is about of what is going to happen. It is just something you are trained and told that you need to do. It was only a few years ago that my wife told me she was a little freaked out about the whole thing when she went through for the first time.

None of my Grandparents, Uncles, Cousins, etc. where able to attend because they are not LDS (My parents converted right before they were married). I never really thought about their feelings because I knew I was doing what God wanted me to do. Now that I look back on it I realize how much that these major life events can bring family closer together but in Mormonism, if they are not all LDS, it can actually drive them further apart.

This sort of reminds me. My wife told me about her cousin that lives up in Idaho. They are the same age and when they were 16 her cousin had a picture of herself on her nightstand of herself in a wedding dress standing in front of the Idaho Falls temple. My wife was really confused when she saw the picture at first and asked her about it. It so happens that one of the YW activities that the leaders planed was to borrow wedding dresses from friends and family and dress up in them and take pictures of themselves in front of the temple. The leaders then had the pictures developed and framed and gave all the YW the picture of themselves. They were told to display it in their rooms always so they could visualize being married in the temple.

Anybody else think this is kind of strange?

harmony
God
Posts: 18195
Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 7:35 pm

Post by harmony »

neworder wrote:It will be interesting to see where this couple is a few years from now. I wonder how "converted" the guy is to Mormonism. She started dating him in high school and was not a member and then he converted over and I am assuming he did this because she has always wanted to get married "in the temple". Growing up you are drilled over and over about getting married in the temple.

I think most people have no idea what the temple ceremony is about of what is going to happen. It is just something you are trained and told that you need to do. It was only a few years ago that my wife told me she was a little freaked out about the whole thing when she went through for the first time.

None of my Grandparents, Uncles, Cousins, etc. where able to attend because they are not LDS (My parents converted right before they were married). I never really thought about their feelings because I knew I was doing what God wanted me to do. Now that I look back on it I realize how much that these major life events can bring family closer together but in Mormonism, if they are not all LDS, it can actually drive them further apart.


That's because if you're a convert, your family is supposed to be less important to you than the church. The whole "leave your parents to cleave to your spouse" thing. Of course, the reverse is abhorrent and not to be imagined.

This sort of reminds me. My wife told me about her cousin that lives up in Idaho. They are the same age and when they were 16 her cousin had a picture of herself on her nightstand of herself in a wedding dress standing in front of the Idaho Falls temple. My wife was really confused when she saw the picture at first and asked her about it. It so happens that one of the YW activities that the leaders planed was to borrow wedding dresses from friends and family and dress up in them and take pictures of themselves in front of the temple. The leaders then had the pictures developed and framed and gave all the YW the picture of themselves. They were told to display it in their rooms always so they could visualize being married in the temple.

Anybody else think this is kind of strange?


Sounds like something a local leader thought up. Not strange, knowing the lengths Idaho saints will go to to make sure their lil darlings stay in the church (I was going to say "grounded in the gospel", but then it occurred to me that LDS parents as a general rule don't care if their children are grounded in the gospel or not, as long as they're staying in the church. *sigh*)

nateariotti
Nursery
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Mar 01, 2007 10:14 pm

OK

Post by nateariotti »

Wow I don't know where to start.

The Boy not going on a mission-

He is a Convert depending on when he was baptized like 18 or 17 he probably never had plans to go on a mission or maybe there are Health Reasons. Like me for instance I didn't go on a Proselyting mission because I didn't learn the gospel too well and I have been a member my whole life I just don't learn too well. So when I wass 20 my Bishop called me in his office and told me about a Service mission up in Washington which being from Utah no young single males are allowed to go out of state on Service Missions (Church Policy) But that didn't come in effect till I was on my mission me and two other companions were the first and last to do it. I was serving on a Church owned ranch up in Washington State. Tell me if you want to know more about it.

I am glad those two got married in the Temple. It was their own choice a good one which they will never look back on I am looking toward the day that I do the same to my Future Companion.
Nate Dogg

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Grant Hardy, Simon Southerton and 33 guests